


A Little Bit of Luck

by RemyJane



Series: The Best by Far is You [8]
Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Adoption, Established Relationship, M/M, Retirement, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-08-14 14:18:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 29,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16494224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RemyJane/pseuds/RemyJane
Summary: “We don’t get to pick.” Nicky explained. Hanna kicked her feet under the table.“What if you ask really nice?” She wheedled.Alex snorted, pointing at her with a forkful of spaghetti noodles. “It doesn’t work that way.”She frowned, playing with her food. “But I want a sister.”————During Alex and Nicky’s final season, Hanna becomes a big sister.





	A Little Bit of Luck

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this! Warnings in the end note, vague spoilers.

2022-2023

“We don’t get to pick.” Nicky explained. Hanna kicked her feet under the table. 

“What if you ask really nice?” She wheedled. 

Alex snorted, pointing at her with a forkful of spaghetti noodles. “It doesn’t work that way.” 

She frowned, playing with her food. “But I want a sister.”

“Well, you might get a brother.” Nicky said. “Brothers are fun too.”

Hanna sulked. “I don’t like boys. They don’t do fun things.” 

Alex and Nicky exchanged a glance, both raising their eyebrows. Nicky decided to change the subject. “Before you get a little brother or sister, we want to do something else. Do you know what?” 

Hanna shrugged. “Get a kitten?” She asked, without optimism. She carved a path through the noodles on her plate, chin resting in one hand. 

“Even more exciting.” Alex said. 

She finally lifted her head. “Get two kittens?” 

Nicky chuckled and glanced at Alex and nodded. He cleared his throat. “If you still want, I adopt you. So we belong to each other.” He explained slowly. 

Hanna grinned. “Yeah! I want that.” She looked at them. “Could we have cake too?”

“Yeah, of course cake.” Alex laughed. “We have a big party.”

Nicky rolled his eyes, still smiling. “Maybe a small party.”

“We invite everyone, it’s a big party.” Alex said. “Does that sound good, Hanna?”

“Yes!” She bounced in her seat. 

“Good. Please don’t play with your food.” Nicky reminded her, smiling as she straightened up in her seat and took a proper bite. “After dinner do you want to play in our yard, or go to the park?”

“Hmmm….park!” Hanna decided. “I want to do the monkey bars.” 

It was October, so when the sun started to set, the air felt crisp and cool. Alex stuffed his hands into his pockets as they walked down the street. Hanna and Nicky were playing keep-away with a soccer ball. Alex felt a little lost in thought. 

The season was starting soon. The final pre-season game was the next day, and then the regular season started. It would probably be their last. Alex was ready to retire, until he really thought about it. 

But they needed to. Nicky couldn’t play forever, neither could Alex. Russian Machine never breaks, but it couldn’t run forever. The end of the last season seemed distant, when all the injuries had piled up and they’d run out of gas after the second round. They needed talent and skill, but they also needed a good bit of luck. 

After they retired, they could adopt another child. Alex thought they should wait until the end of the season; Nicky knew they could make it work out again no matter how the timing fell. He needed to adopt Hanna first, to make his role in her life for the last five and a half years officially official. 

“Daddy, Papa’s cheating.” Hanna said, trying not to laugh when Nicky spun away from her with the ball, kicking it up to bounce it off his knees. 

“Not cheating.” Nicky grinned at her. “You want to try?” He showed her slowly how to kick the ball up gently, before passing it to her. 

Hanna tried and it veered off sideways. She groaned. “See? Cheating.” Nicky kicked the ball back to Alex and he flicked it up to bounce it on his knees. Hanna sighed. “That’s too hard.” 

Nicky was smiling when he scooped her up, peppering her with kisses and tickling her. She squirmed and let out peals of laughter, trying to tickle him back. Nicky helped her climb onto his shoulders, carrying her the rest of the way to the park. 

At the park, Hanna played on the monkey bars while Nicky and Alex kicked the soccer ball back and forth. Nicky needed a haircut, it was long enough it was falling in his face. When Alex kicked him the ball, the blond kicked it up to bounce it off his knees and then his chest, looking confused when Alex took his picture. 

Alex shrugged. He didn’t want, didn’t know how, to tell Nicky he wanted this memory of him before the season started; in case he ever doubted their plan to retire, all he needed to do was look at the picture he’d just taken and compare it to how they felt at the end of the season. They could make one more run at the Cup, but if they couldn’t do it again, once would be enough. 

They went home when it started to get dark. Hanna was worn out and didn’t try to weasel her way out of bedtime like usual. Alex brushed her hair, Nicky read a story, and they both kissed her forehead before slipping out of the room. 

Downstairs, they settled in together on the couch, Alex’s arm over Nicky’s shoulders and the blond’s head leaning against his chest. 

Alex kissed the top of his head. “Hey Nicky.”

“Yeah?” Nicky looked up

“We gonna win this year?” Alex asked. 

Nicky grinned at him, his eyes crinkling. His face was less round, his hair a bit less terrible, but he still had the same mischievous glint in his eyes when he answered. “Sure.” He said, almost flippantly. “Why not?” 

Alex kissed him, laughing when Nicky slipped his hands under his shirt, warm over his skin. 

They were supposed to play in the last preseason game, but they were on their way home from lunch when the school called. 

“Hello?” Nicky answered. “Yes.” He paused, listening. His face looked suddenly serious. “No, no, don’t. We’ll be right there. I understand. Ok, thank you.” 

Alex glanced at him. “Who was that?”

“The school. We have to go get Hanna.” Nicky explained. Alex changed lanes and went to turn around. “She fell on the playground, they’re pretty sure she broke her arm.” 

“Oh no.” Alex bit his lip. “Is she ok, they say anything else?” 

“They said she’s ok. Didn’t hit her head or anything like that.” Nicky fidgeted with his phone. “I told them not to call an ambulance. They offered.” 

Alex gave him a skeptical look. “It’s a broken arm, not that bad.”

Nicky shrugged; they’d both broken their fair share of bones. Alex had broken an arm as a young kid, falling out of a tree in the park one summer. He’d cried and cried after they told him he couldn’t skate until the cast came off. 

Hanna was in the front office, sitting on the cot in the nurse’s room. Her eyes were wet and she was sniffling, but she managed to smile when her parents came into view. “Hi Papa. Hi Daddy.” 

Nicky knelt down in front of her, brushing her hair back from her face. “Hi, alskling. What happened?” He kissed her forehead. 

Hanna wiped her face with her other hand. “I was playing on the monkey bars.” She said, looking anywhere but Nicky’s face. 

Alex accepted the paperwork the school nurse handed him without looking at it. “You on top of the bars?” He guessed; he’d seen her do it at the playground too. 

“Uh huh.” She nodded, lip quivering. “Am I in trouble?”

Nicky smiled and shook his head. “No, no you’re not in trouble.” He looked at her. “Can I see your arm?” 

Hanna reluctantly let him see it. Even across the room, Alex could see where the break was, her forearm swollen and red. 

“I tried to put a splint on it, but she wouldn’t let me.” The nurse said. 

Hanna pursed her lips, frowning. “It hurt.” She explained. 

“I bet.” Nicky agreed. 

Alex looked at the nurse. “We can take this pillow?” He asked, holding up the pillow from the cot. 

She looked confused, but nodded. “Sure, yeah.” 

“You have tape?” 

The nurse produced a roll of medical tape and Alex took it. He sat down beside Hanna. “Ok, you put your arm on the pillow, ok?” 

“Ok.” She agreed. 

Slowly, she lifted her arm and Alex laid the pillow in her lap. After her arm was resting on it, he folded the pillow around her arm, wrapping tape around it to hold it in place. “There. That hurt?”

“Nope.” She smiled at him. “Thank you.”

Alex grinned. “You’re welcome. C’mon, we go to the hospital now.” 

Hanna looked a little reluctant. “Can I go back to class? My backpack is there. And I want to say bye to Ellie.” 

Nicky rocked back on his heels, looking amused. “We can go get your backpack and you can say bye to Ellie. Did she see you fall?”

“Uh huh. And-and she started crying. But I’m ok. It doesn’t even hurt so much now.” She said with a smile. 

Alex carefully picked her up. “Ok. We go tell Ellie you ok. Then hospital.”

“Will I get a cast?” She asked, eyes brightening. 

“Probably.” Nicky nodded. “What color do you want?” 

“Red! It has to be red. Hockey starts tomorrow, right?” 

“Right.” Alex agreed, chuckling fondly. 

They gathered her bag, let Ellie give her a gentle hug goodbye, and headed off to the hospital. They were there for a few hours and Nicky stepped out of the room to call the coaching staff and let them know they wouldn’t make it in time for the game. 

When he came back in, he sat on the edge of Hanna’s bed. “You look sleepy.” He said. 

She shook her head, trying to keep her eyes open. “Nuh uh. I’m so awake.” 

“Of course. How does your arm feel?” 

“S’okay.” She slurred, closing her eyes. 

Nicky kissed her forehead. “Take a nap and we’ll wake you up when you get to pick your color.” Hanna sighed and gripped his hand before closing her eyes and falling to sleep. 

“Pain medicine is getting to her.” Alex said, smiling. 

“Yeah.” Nicky chuckled. “And all the exciting stuff is over.” 

Alex nodded. “You sad to miss last preseason game for us?”

Nicky shrugged. “Not really. I was just thinking about that. Our last home opener tomorrow…”

Alex kicked his foot against Nicky’s. “Better not suck.” He teased. 

“Maybe they’ll put us on the same line for a bit.” Nicky said. 

“Like the good old days?” Alex joked. 

Nicky gave him a fond smile. “I dunno. These days are pretty good too.” He said softly. 

Alex rolled his eyes, trying to stop his heart from melting into goop. “So cheesy, Nicky.” He said, but he couldn’t sound anything other than adoring. 

Alex supposed it was a good thing that they could afford to wait in the ER at the Children’s Hospital, good that Hanna wasn’t so hurt or so sick that she needed immediate attention, but that didn’t mean he liked waiting. 

Nicky seemed to be on the same page. “When...the first time I had to bring her here, we were in the ER for only a couple hours before they moved her upstairs.” He remembered, combing his fingers through her hair. 

Alex nodded. “She got better. Got big.” 

“Yeah.” Nicky nodded. “You flew all the way from Russia.”

“I did.” Alex said, tipping his head. “Couldn’t stay away.” 

“I’m glad you did.” Nicky said. Alex had kissed Nicky after they’d brought Hanna home and he’d never looked back. Nicky was pink in the face, looking down at his feet. 

Hanna was still sleepy after her arm had been covered in a cast from her hand past her elbow. She frowned. “It’s heavy.” She complained. 

“You have a sling.” Nicky said, helping her put it on. “It helps hold your arm.” 

“Lucky, it’s your left arm.” Alex said. “So you can still write at school.” 

Hanna rubbed her eyes. “Do I hafta go to school tomorrow?” 

Nicky glanced at Alex and shook his head. 

“No, tomorrow you can stay home with Babushka.” Alex said. 

Hanna nodded. “Was there hockey tonight?” She asked, yawning. 

“Yeah.” Nicky said. “Do you want to watch? We recorded it.” 

She looked thoughtful. “Can we show Maymay my cast?” 

Alex chuckled. “Yeah, sure. Maybe he can sign it.” 

They snuck in a side entrance and waited until the media had cleared out of the locker room and the team was on the mostly-clothed end of the spectrum. 

Tom was the first to see them walk in, his eyebrows shooting up. “Your papa didn’t say you broke your arm!” He said, appalled, looking at Nicky. “I like your red cast.”

“It’s red for hockey.” Hanna explained. 

Tom grinned at her and carefully picked her up. “I broke my arm when I was a kid too.” He told her. “I crashed my bike. What did you do?”

Hanna smiled. “I fell off the monkey bars.” She explained. “Do you wanna sign my cast?” She asked. 

The good thing about being a professional athlete was they were never far from quality markers. Nicky and Alex stood off to the side while Hanna got to enjoy being the center of attention. Even the younger guys who hadn’t been there when she was born had a soft spot for Hanna. 

After a while, she settled in Andre’s lap while he drew an elaborate stick figure picture of the team and Hanna. She giggled as he narrated his process. 

“Does Ms. Duncan still do show & tell on Mondays?” TJ asked Hanna, kneeling in front of her. 

“Uh huh.” She nodded. “Why?”

“I think your cast would be pretty good for show & tell.” 

“And I couldn’t even forget it!” She exclaimed. 

TJ laughed. “Very true!” He scribbled his name across it. “Save some space for Leni and Lyla too, ok? They’ll be excited to sign it.”

“Hey Hanna, do you want your dad and your papa to sign too?” Tom asked. 

Hanna shrugged. “I guess, if they want.” She said. 

Andre laughed. “Did you know people wait in line for them to sign things for them?” 

Her nose wrinkled and she shook her head. “Why?” 

Nicky turned away to hide his laughter and Alex snorted. “Not anymore. We’re too old.” He joked. 

Hanna rolled her eyes. “You’re not old.” She said. 

Andre’s eyes twinkled. “How old do you think they are?” 

“Hmmm...29.” She decided, nodding sagely. 

“29 sounds good.” Alex agreed, winking at Nicky. “We can be 29.”

By the time they got home, Hanna was dozing off in the car. Nicky carries her upstairs and helped her change into her pajamas. Hanna blinked up at them. “Can I take this off now?” She asked, pointing to her cast. 

“No, it has to stay on.” 

“Until tomorrow?” She guessed, looking up at them. 

Nicky glanced at Alex and he stepped in. “Needs to stay on until your bones are strong again.” He explained gently. “So, until before Thanksgiving.” 

Her eyes welled up with tears. “But that’s forever away.” She said, voice wavering. 

Nicky kissed the top of her head, hugging her close so as to hide the smile tugging at his lips. “I know, alskling. I’m sorry.” He murmured. 

“That’s not fair.” She grumbled, rubbing at her face with her good hand. “I can’t even take it off for sleeping?”

“No, has to stay on.” 

“But it’s heavy.” Hanna’s lip quivered and Alex sat down on her other side to rub her back. “I didn’t know it was for forever.” 

“Not forever. 6 weeks.” 

“That’s almost forever.” She said, flopping backwards against her pillows. 

Nicky pursed his lips. “I think it won’t seem so bad after you get some sleep.” He told her. “Things are usually better in the morning.” 

Hanna shook her head. “No.” She pouted. “It’ll be worse.” 

Alex smiled. “What bedtime story you want tonight?”

“I don’t want one.” She said, sniffling. “I can’t sleep with this on my arm.” 

“Tom did when he was little.” Alex said. “I did too. You’ll be ok.” He kissed her forehead. “Sure you don’t want a story?” 

“I’m sure.” She said, trying and failing to cross her arms. 

They tucked her in and went downstairs. Nicky snuggled in alongside Alex on the couch, warm even through his clothing. “You sure you want another one?” Nicky asked, grinning up at him. 

Alex laughed. “Still sure.” He squeezed Nicky’s hand. “Hanna will be a good big sister.” 

“She will.” Nicky agreed. “I do miss...I miss when she was a baby, a little bit.” 

“Me too.” Alex nodded. 

“She’s- I love her, obviously. And she’s so- she has so much personality now. She just doesn’t need us so much, I guess.” 

“True. Loves us more now. She’s a good kid.” 

“I know, she is.” Nicky played with Alex’s fingers, fidgeting nervously. “With the next one, you’ll be around more for the...the newborn stuff. It’s...it’s amazing how fast they grow.” 

Alex nodded; he’d had to go to Russia and while he was gone Hanna learned to smile and laugh, she learned to hold her head up, she started to have opinions about things. She’d started to grow into a person and Alex had missed it. He wouldn’t change a lot of things about his life, but he wished he could have that time with Hanna. “Yeah. Wish I was there with you at first.” He said softly. 

Nicky tilted his head up, looking at him. “You were there when we needed you. And you came back.” 

Alex kissed him and Nicky melted against his chest, sinking into it. Alex lost himself in the feel of Nicky’s mouth and was surprised when he felt Nicky’s hand slip under his shirt, brushing across his stomach to curl around his side and pull him even closer. 

Nicky nipped at Alex’s lips and Alex tugged at his hair. “Upstairs.” He whispered against his mouth. 

They snuck up the stairs and down the hall, carefully to close the door gently. Nicky shucked his clothes carelessly and Alex paused to watch. 

“So easy.” He teased. “Don’t even have to ask.” 

Nicky looked up at him through his lashes. “Should I make you work instead?” He asked. 

Alex covered his mouth with a kiss, backing him against the closet door. Normally, it was hard to tell that Alex was a bit taller, a bit heavier than Nicky, but sometimes he could. He grabbed Nicky’s wrists and pinned them against the door, smirking when Nicky tested his grip. “You want me to stop?” He asked. 

“Fuck, no.” Nicky said, pupils wide. 

Alex loved to leave marks on Nicky’s smooth skin. He loved to look at them hours, days, later and know that he had done that. He loved to watch Nicky press his fingers against the bruises when he thought no one was looking. He left a bold one over his left nipple, over his heart, one hand jacking Nicky off slowly. 

“Sasha…” Nicky squirmed. “Let me…” 

Alex squeezed his wrists tighter, carefully gauging the pressure in his hands; the season opened the next day. 

Alex left a trail of pink bites along Nicky’s hip, placing one sweet kiss over the scars there. Nicky’s head fell back against the door with a muffled thunk. When Alex licked the length of his cock, Nicky gasped.

Alex looked up at him, drinking in the sight of Nicky’s flushed skin and half-open eyes, his lips parted. Alex let go of his wrists and wrapped one around Nicky’s cock before guiding him into his mouth. 

Nicky covered his mouth to keep quiet, little noises still slipping out. Alex loved it, loved him, loved making him fall apart like this. 

“I’m gonna- Sasha-“ Nicky tried to warn him, his hand gently tangled in the hair at the nape of Alex’s neck. Alex took him deeper and Nicky came with a quiet moan. Alex swallowed around him and then kissed gentle kisses along the crease of his thigh while he waited for Nicky to catch his breath. 

“What do you want?” Nicky asked, combing his fingers through Alex’s hair; there was a lot of gray there. “Do you want me to blow you?” Nicky offered. 

Alex’s cock twitched at the thought “Yeah.” He rasped. “Yeah.” 

Nicky after he came was definitely sweeter, more pliant. He pulled Alex to his feet and kissed him, before walking him backwards to the bed. He kissed down Alex’s stomach, kissed the top of cock, licking the precum that dribbled out. Alex tried not to buck his hips. 

Nicky gave him a knowing smile; Alex should not find Nicky’s smugness attractive but he did. 

He swallowed him down easily, until Alex’s cock was at the back of Nicky’s throat and somehow Alex always forgot how good Nicky was at this until he was in the moment. He grabbed fistfuls of Nicky’s hair and he was loose and willing, letting Alex fuck up into his mouth. 

Alex came with a bitten off cry, panting as he went limp against the pillow. 

Nicky sat up, wiping his hand across his mouth slowly. Alex reached out towards him and reeled him in, Nicky collapsing beside him and wrapping an arm around Alex. Alex turned his head to kiss his temple, his hair a bit damp with sweat. 

“I love you.” Nicky murmured. 

“Love you too.” 

“Need to get dressed.” Nicky decided after a moment, groaning as he pushed himself up. He slipped off the bed and moments later, Alex’s shorts hit him in the face. 

He laughed. “So mean, Nicky.” Alex never slept naked unless Hanna was gone now, because she had a habit of crawling into bed with them if she woke up in the middle of the night. 

They fell asleep cuddled up and Alex woke in the morning with Nicky wrapped around him but no blankets to speak of. He tugged on them and Nicky grumbled. “Need these. Chilly.” Alex told him, smiling when Nicky burrowed his face in between Alex’s shoulder blades. “Always so awake in the morning.” He teased. 

“Fuck you.” Nicky muttered. 

Alex twisted in his embrace, wrapping Nicky up in his arms. “Maybe later.” 

Nicky sighed and kept his eyes closed. “Shh. I’m asleep.” He decided. 

“I’m going to make breakfast. Need waffles to cheer Hanna up.” Alex decided. And, as cute as Nicky was, Alex was awake and couldn’t lie in bed doing nothing. 

Alex has been downstairs for long enough to make the batter when he heard heavy footsteps on the stairs. Looking up, he smiled at the sight of Nicky carrying Hanna. “Good morning.” He said. 

Hanna frowned. “Good morning.” She said, sounding unhappy. 

“What’s wrong?” Alex asked. Nicky set her in one of the chairs as the breakfast bar and went into the pantry. 

“My arm hurts.” She said, kicking her feet. “Papa says I have to take medicine.”

“It makes your arm feel better.” Alex explained. 

“But it tastes gross.” She said, wrinkling her nose. “I want my regular arm back.” 

Nicky emerged with two bottles in hand. “Grape or cherry?” He offered. He grabbed a bottle of juice from the fridge and poured a small glass for her. 

“They’re both gross.” She lamented. Nicky opened one bottle and sniffed it, making a face. “See?” 

“Cherry is better.” Alex decided. “You take your medicine, you can have the first waffle.” 

“With chocolate chips?” 

“With chocolate chips.” Alex agreed. 

Hanna looked thoughtful more a long moment. “Ok, fine.” 

She took her medicine and then immediately chugged her cup of juice. She set it down hard against the counter and looked up at Alex. “Waffle?” 

Alex struggled to hold back laughter. “Has to finish cooking. You don’t want it to be gooey in the middle.” 

Nicky patted Hanna’s back. “You did good.” He said. “Remember, we have hockey this morning. Babushka and Dedushka are going to come watch you.” 

“Can I go to the game?”

“You have to ask your grandparents. But I think they want to.” Alex answered. 

Nicky nodded. “You should try to take a nap, so you can stay up late tonight.” 

“Can I nap with you?” 

“Yeah.” Nicky said, smiling. “That would be good.” 

After morning skate, the returned to find his mother had made a hearty stew. “It makes everything better.” She explained, and then smiled at Alex. “Always made for you when you were sick.” The smell made Alex nostalgic but he couldn’t be homesick, not really, with his family surrounding him. 

“You make enough for me and Nicky?” Alex asked. 

Tatiana scoffed at him. “As if I ever let you boys be hungry.” She teased. 

They ate and then went upstairs to take their pre-game nap. “Last first pregame nap.” Alex said, smiling at Nicky. 

Nicky gave him a sleepy smile in return. “Yeah.” 

Nicky was always the first to sleep and despite her general dislike of naps, Hanna went down quickly too. Alex played on his phone for a bit, snapping a picture of them before he finally drifted off. 

When he woke up, it was with Hanna’s hard cast pressed against his arm and her knee in his back. He gently pushed her back into the middle of the bed. “So little, how do you take up so much room?” He asked, mostly to himself. In his sleep, Nicky snuggled her closer. 

“I’m not little.” She protested sleepily. 

Alex rolled onto his side to look at her. “Littler than me.” He pointed out. 

She frowned. “But you’re really big.” 

Alex grinned and tickled her. “Maybe you’re just really little.” 

“Daddy…” She squirmed, giggling. “No fair, I only have one hand.” She said, trying to tickle him. 

“Ok. I’ll only use one hand too.” 

Hanna’s laughter eventually woke Nicky, who tightened his grip on Hanna and ducked his face to press a kiss to the top of her head. “You’re both silly.” He said, smiling up at Alex. “People are sleeping.” 

“No, it’s time to get up.” Hanna said. “You have to go do hockey.” 

“Do we have to?” Nicky asked. 

“Yeah! Everyone would miss you.” She said. 

Nicky caught Alex’s eye. “We can’t play forever.” Alex said gently. 

Hanna nodded. “But you hafta play today, right?”

“We want to play today.” Nicky said carefully. 

Hanna sighed, missing context for the conversation. “Do I get to go to the game?” She asked, sounding a little exasperated. 

Alex snorted. “Yeah, Babu and Deda will take you.” 

They won the first game and Alex returned the favor for the many great assists Nicky had given him over the years with one of his own. Nicky looked almost surprised to have scored, laughing when Alex crashed into him. 

Afterwards, Nicky decided he wasn’t doing press on his own anymore, sliding down the bench to sit beside Alex. Alex gave him an amused look and threw an arm around his shoulders, holding him close. 

After questions about the game, the upcoming season, it eventually turned to questions about the wedding. “It was a good day.” Nicky said, shrugging. “It was nice to have our families and friends all together.” 

Alex grinned. “Nicky smashed cake in my face.” He told the media. “He’s a little bit mean sometimes.” Nicky rolled his eyes, still smiling. 

Adopting Hanna meant paperwork, waiting, and more paperwork. Alex bemoaned the inefficient process. “Couldn’t we do this in one day?” He asked, slumping into the passenger seat of the car. 

Nicky chuckled. “Fun, right?” He said dryly. Alex made note not to complain too much, because Nicky had gone through all this before, alone. And, at the end, he would legally be someone’s dad, which was a strange and heady feeling. 

“Gonna be her dad for real eventually.” Alex said. 

Nicky froze, halfway through buckling his seatbelt, and looked up at him with serious eyes. “This is just paperwork. You’ve been her dad for a long time.” He said quietly. “You’ve been here since day one.” 

Alex squeezed Nicky’s hand. “Nice to have it on paper.” He said. “Just like marrying you.” 

Nicky smiled at him. “Only nice?” He teased. 

Alex rolled his eyes. “Best.” He assured him. 

It took another couple weeks for everything to be finalized. An official notice arrived by mail; Nicky passed it to Alex over breakfast wordlessly, barely restraining a smile. 

Alex opened it, grinning as he read it. “Hey, Hanna.” He said. 

She looked up from her cereal. “Yeah?” 

“You want to plan a party?” 

Her eyes went wide. “Did you- are you…are you my daddy for real now?” 

“For real.” Alex agreed. 

“Can we have chocolate cake?” She asked eagerly. 

They didn’t end up having the party until the beginning of November, but it was nice to get the team together for something unrelated to hockey. The kids played in the yard and it was nice enough to sit outside around the fire pit. 

Even with her arm still in a cast, Hanna was as rambunctious as the rest of them. Alex had already yelled across the yard to tell her not to climb trees; his mother had laughed at him then. 

“I mean this in the best way possible,” TJ began, sitting down with a fresh beer. “But your daughter is a menace.” He grinned brightly. 

“I know, she’s best.” Alex laughed. 

TJ laughed too. “She is. Her and Leni have a lot of fun.” 

In the yard, the girls were playing some form of soccer that also involved the swing set and slide, as well as racing to the fence at the back of the yard. Nicky was watching as though trying to decipher the rules. 

“Lauren said you guys were thinking about adopting another?” TJ asked. 

Nicky looked up from the game. “Yeah. I think...after this season, I think it’ll be good.” He said quietly. Andre glanced away from his conversation to look at Nicky, looking thoughtful. 

TJ nodded. “It’s fun. You forget about all the baby stuff. But, I didn’t mind that. I love babies.” He shrugged. “What does Hanna think?”

“She wants a kitten.” Alex said. 

Nicky giggled and TJ cracked a broad smile. “Sure, I mean, that’s more fun than a baby, right?”

“No potty training.” Alex said. 

Eventually the crowd dwindled down to just a few people. Nicky and Andre were talking in the backyard, passing the soccer ball back and forth. Hanna was asleep in her grandfather’s lap while he dozed on the couch. 

Alex joined Nicky and Andre in time to hear Andre ask if Nicky was retiring. 

Nicky switched back to English. “Thinking about it.” He admitted. “We’ve been playing a long time.” 

Andre looked at Alex. “You’re both gonna retire?” 

“Can’t play without my center.” He said, smiling as Nicky passed him the ball. 

“You guys aren’t even on the same line.” Andre said. “Are you serious though?”

Nicky nodded. “Nothing’s permanent but...yeah. We’re serious.” 

Andre stopped the ball with his foot. “I’m gonna miss you.”

“We’re gonna stay in D.C.” Nicky said. “We can come to games.”

“Are you sure you want to retire? You’re not that old.” 

Nicky glanced at Alex. In his mind’s eye, he could see Nicky at the end of the season, worn down and exhausted. “Other stuff we want to do.” Alex said. “Hard to have kids when we’re always busy.”

“You did it with Hanna.” He pointed out. 

“Barely.” Nicky admitted. “I almost quit after she was born.” 

Andre’s mouth dropped open. “What? Why?”

“I...being away from her was hard. It still is.” Nicky said, fidgeting with the ends of his sleeves. 

“Kids are more fun than hockey.” Alex said, a half-assed explanation. Hanna wasn’t only more fun; being with her was more rewarding, more important. Alex loved hockey, but he loved his family more, of course. 

“I guess.” Andre said. “She won’t get to really see you guys play together though.”

Nicky shrugged. “We don’t play together like we did when we were young. She can watch old videos.” 

Andre looked curious. “Do you...do you miss playing on a line with Ovi?” He asked, like the thought had never occurred to him before. 

Nicky was pink. “I- yeah. It was...I liked that.” 

Alex smiled at him. “Still together on the power play.” He teased. 

“Promise you’re not moving away?” Andre asked. 

“We’re not moving away.” Nicky repeated mildly, ending with an “oof” when Andre propelled himself into Nicky’s arms. 

“Good.” 

Nicky sighed, but rubbed his hand over his back. “You’d be fine if we were gone anyway.” He said quietly. “You can feed yourself and everything now.” 

Andre snorted and Alex watched as he hugged him tighter. “I know. I just- I know we always joked and called you papa, but…” he paused. “You’ve taught me a lot.” 

Nicky smiled at him. “Yeah, well…” he shrugged, cheeks pink. 

That night, after everyone had left and Hanna was in bed, Nicky sat down next to Alex and handed him a glass of wine, another in his other hand. 

“Today was good.” Nicky said, tucking his feet under Alex’s thigh. Alex squeezed his ankle. 

“Really good.” He agreed. He smiled teasingly at Nicky. “Burr’s gonna be sad when we retire.” He said, because he didn’t know exactly how to ask, but he did want to talk about it. At this point, he couldn’t even blame his English, which had improved immensely as Hanna grew. He just didn’t have the vocabulary to talk about emotions, even in Russian. 

Nicky’s smile shifted towards regretful. “I know. He...he’s really…” Nicky took a sip of his wine. “I think he had kind of...I think his parents were more...I don’t know.” Nicky flushed a bit, trying to find the right words. 

“He’s...you know, not bad, but a little soft.”

“He’s sweet.” Nicky said, shrugging. “But I think he thought...you can’t have those kind of relationships here, everyone has to be tough always.” 

“Lucky he find you, also so sweet.” Alex said. 

Nicky rolled his eyes. “I just...I guess when you feel like you don’t belong anywhere, you recognize it when you see someone else like that.” He admitted slowly, thoughtfully. Nicky was careful; Nicky didn’t say things he didn’t mean. 

Alex had pieced together some of what Nicky had gone through before they’d gotten together and the image he had wasn’t a happy one. Nicky had been lonely and lost, he’d been unanchored, unfulfilled. “He’ll be ok after we retire.” Alex said quietly. “He’s ok now.” 

“I know.” Nicky nodded. “I just...I wanted you to know…”

“Know what?” Alex prodded gently when he trailed off. 

“That I’m worried about it, I guess.” Nicky admitted, laughing softly. 

“I know. You worry about everyone.” Alex said. “It’s ok.” 

Nicky smiled fondly at him. “Maybe if you all didn’t do things to make me worry in the first place…”

Alex laughed and scooted closer, planting a kiss on Nicky’s cheek. Nicky giggled and wiped away the wet mark left behind with his sleeve. 

Hanna got her cast off a week before Thanksgiving. She frowned at it. “My arm looks dead.” She told the doctor. “I thought you fixed it.” 

Nicky turned away, covering his mouth to hide his laughter. 

The doctor smiled patiently. “It’s like it’s been sleeping for a long time. It just takes a little while to get back to normal.” She promised. 

Hanna sighed, poking her pale arm curiously and wrinkling her nose. “It smells funny.”

“Well, it hasn’t had a bath in a long time.” The doctor laughed. 

Hanna looked at Alex and Nicky. “Can I do the monkey bars now?”

“No.” Nicky said, just as the doctor shook her head. 

“Not for a little while longer.” 

Hanna groaned, slumping back. “This sucks.” 

“Language.” Nicky corrected mildly. Hanna frowned and said it again, in Swedish. Nicky groaned. “You know what I meant.” He said. 

For Thanksgiving, they had dinner at their house. Alex’s parents joined them, Andre, Evgeny, and Christian Joos. Usually, none of them celebrated Thanksgiving, but they had since Hanna was born. They just did it a little differently. 

“Papa, my teacher said people eat turkey for Thanksgiving.” Hanna said, stealing a pelmini from the counter. 

“Some people do.” Nicky said, smiling as Alex gently swatted at Hanna’s hand when she reached for another. 

“We don’t?” 

“We don’t.”

“We have pelmini!” She said happily. “And pickled herring. And jam.”

“Not all together.” Alex laughed. 

Nicky looked up. “Why not?” He managed to sneak more pelmini and passed one to Hanna. Andre giggled. 

Alex gave him a cross look. “You eat all that before dinner, you can’t eat dinner.” He scolded affectionately. Hanna looked delighted, munching away happily on her stolen food. 

“I’m very hungry.” Nicky teased. “I’ll eat dinner.”

“Me too.” Hanna piped up, agreeing with him. 

Andre scooped Hanna up and she let out a happy laugh, struggling to escape. “Maymay, no!” She laughed. 

Andre blew a raspberry against her cheek and she squirmed, giggling. “Yes!” He grinned. “You better save room for dessert.”

Hanna gave him a mock-serious look. “I always have room for desert.” She said. 

Andre raised his eyebrows. “Of course.”

Alex swatted Nicky’s hand away again. “Bad example.” He chided. “Mama, tell Nicky to stop eating all the food.” 

“Nicklas, you’ll ruin your dinner.” She said, trying not to smile. 

Nicky ducked his head, biting back a grin. “Yes, ma’am.” 

She rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Here, come taste this.” She decided, grabbing an extra spoon so he could try the sauce she was stirring. Obediently, Nicky took the spoon, tasting it and humming happily. “Good?” She asked. 

“Really good.” He nodded. 

“Good.” She shooed him away gently. “Go get napkins. Sasha, don’t overcook those.” She turned to where Andre and Evgeny were playing. “You two, set table.” 

Andre set Hanna down and she bounced on her toes. “Babu, what about me?” She asked. 

Tatiana picked her up and kissed her cheek. “Here, you try this too.” She gave her a spoonful of sauce. 

“It’s yummy!” Hanna declared happily. 

Tatiana smiled at her fondly. “Good.” She set her back down. “Here, you take this bread to the table.”

They didn’t have turkey and they didn’t have cranberry sauce. Alex liked their mixture of Swedish and Russian food, though you wouldn’t think it would go together. Hanna was happy to have her family close, reveling in the attention from everyone. 

Nicky slipped his hand into Alex’s under the table, watching Hanna feed Andre a bite from her plate. Alex squeezed back. “Happy?” He asked. 

“Yeah.” Nicky smiled, looking down. “This is...I love this.” He said softly. 

Across from them, Hanna started trying to teach Evgeny how to speak Swedish and Nicky leaned back, watching. 

After dinner and dessert, once they’d cleaned the kitchen, they settled in the living room. Hanna cuddled up in Evgeny’s lap, dozing. “What’re you drinking?” She asked sleepily. 

“Coffee.” Evgeny said, holding the mug closer. “You want to try?”

Hanna gamely accepted the mug. “It’s warm. Is it like hot chocolate?” She asked, sniffing it tentatively. 

“Kind of.” Evgeny said, biting back a smile. He looked at Nicky and Alex, who were watching intently. 

Hanna took a sip, screwing her face up in a dramatic grimace. “That’s so bad.” She said, coughing. “How do you drink that?” 

“Lots of grown ups drink coffee.” Evgeny explained calmly. 

“Weird.” She muttered, wiping her tongue on her sleeve. “Why?”

“It makes us less sleepy.” He said, taking another sip. 

Hanna looked up. “Papa, do you need more coffee?” She asked. 

Nicky rolled his eyes, steaming mug in his hands. “Silly.” He told her. 

“But you’re such a bear! He even growls.” She said, eyes wide. Alex snorted and Nicky sat up a bit straighter. 

“Speaking of, it’s almost bedtime.” He reminded her. 

Hanna’s face fell. “But...But Papa, it’s Thanksgiving.”

“It is.” Alex agreed. “We thankful you get lots of sleep, grow big and strong.” 

Hanna slid out of Evgeny’s lap and shook her head. “Daddy…” she protested. 

Andre scooped her up. “I’ll read you stories, does that sound good?” He offered. 

She giggled and nodded, letting him carry her upstairs. 

Alex squeezed Nicky’s knee. “Neither of them going to sleep.”

“I know. It’s fine.” He said, smiling back at him. He leaned against Alex’s chest. Upstairs, they could faintly hear Andre and Hanna laughing. 

After everyone else had left, Alex and Nicky went up to check on them. The lamp was still on, but they were both asleep, Andre leaning against the wall and Hanna snuggled in against his side. There was a pile of books on the floor beside them and one in Andre’s lap. 

Alex took a picture and Nicky crouched beside the bed, gently waking Andre. “Hey.” He smiled at the younger man. “Do you want to stay here tonight?” He offered. 

Andre nodded and Nicky steered him to the guest room across the hall, producing a pair of sweatpants for him to borrow. “Do I have to read you bedtime stories too?” Nicky teased, sitting on the edge of the bed. 

Andre swatted at him half-heartedly. Nicky ruffled his hair, fussing with the blankets for a minute before leaving. 

Alex pulled Nicky into their bedroom, kissing him. “You done being papa?” 

“For a little while.” Nicky smiled sweetly at him. 

Alex kissed him again. “You like having everyone over?”

Nicky nodded. “Yeah, it’s- it’s good.” He was a bit pink in the cheeks, which Alex found endearing. “I think it’s good for Hanna. I want...I want her to know how much everyone loves her.”

“Want her to have lots of family.” Alex agreed. 

Nicky nodded. “Yeah.” He swallowed, looking away. “I don’t want her to feel like...like she doesn’t belong here.” 

Alex hugged him tight, because he knew Nicky had struggled with that before and he’d been oblivious. “She belongs here. With us. With you.” He promised, whispering the words into Nicky’s hair, punctuating with kisses.

A week before Christmas, the adoption agency called. Hanna was in school and Nicky and Alex had been wrapping Christmas presents. Nicky answered on speaker phone. 

“Hello?” 

“Hi, Nicklas, this is Jasmine.” Jasmine had been the person they interacted with at the adoption agency, and had also been there when Nicky had adopted Hanna. “I know you and your husband are in the process of adopting a child. Would you be able to come down to office today to discuss some options?”

“Options?” Nicky asked, furrowing his eyebrows. 

“Just to talk.” She said. 

“We can come now.” Alex said, leaning closer. 

“Great, perfect.” Jasmine said. “I’ll see you soon.” 

Alex didn’t know what to expect. Did their paperwork need to be corrected? Had something gone wrong? Did they decide two hockey players had no business being parents? He shook his head to clear away the thoughts. 

Nicky looked nervous too, so at least he wasn’t alone. 

Jasmine smiled when she greeted them. “So” She began. “I know your original timeline was set more towards the summer.” She adjusted some papers on her desk. “We’ve had a bit of an...a strange incident, I guess.” 

“Ok?” Alex asked, sitting on the edge of his seat. “Everything ok?”

“Oh! Everything is perfectly ok, for you guys. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you!” She explained quickly, eyes wide. “There was a mother working with our agency to place her twins with a family. Unfortunately, she had some significant health complications. The babies were born early, and one didn’t survive.”

“Oh no.” Nicky squeezed Alex’s hand tight. 

“It’s very sad. The family that was originally adopting them has asked the baby be placed somewhere else. And I was wondering if you would be interested?” 

Alex cleared his throat. “The baby...it’s ok?”

“He’s ok. He’s in the NICU right now. He was born a week ago, at 30 weeks. He was about two and half pounds, at birth. He’d doing really well. He’s not going to be ready to go home until he’s about 4-5 pounds, depending on how he’s doing.” She pushed a folder forward. “I have some pictures, if you’d like.” 

Alex opened the folder, staring. The baby in the pictures was tiny, with a full head of dark hair. There were wires and tubes all over and he was in a little incubator. 

“Can we...can we talk about it together? Before making a decision?” Nicky asked softly. 

“Of course!” Jasmine assured them. “I know this is a lot to take in. Give me a call when you make a decision; and I understand if this isn’t something you can do right now.” She said gently. 

They were silent on their way back to the car. Nicky turned the car on, but didn’t move to put it in gear. He looked at Alex. “What do you...what do you think?”

“I think…” Alex knew the plan. The plan was a healthy summer baby they could put in the Cup when they won again. Alex wasn’t sure what they would do. Two and a half pounds...Hanna had weighed over twice that and Alex hadn’t known what to do with her. But, his heart ached thinking of the tragedy that tiny baby had already endured. “I think we have to tell Hanna she’s getting little brother.”

Nicky grinned at him, looking relieved. “Yeah. Good. I- I think he should be ours. He should be with us.” 

They went back inside and found Jasmine. There was a little paperwork to complete and then she smiled at them. “Should we go meet your son?” She asked. 

At the hospital, the nurses helped Alex pick up the little baby and hold him against his bare chest. “Kangaroo care, or skin to skin, is really important with these little guys.” The nurse explained, tucking a blanket over them. “It helps him regulate his body temp and it calms them.” 

The baby was tiny, more like a little doll than a person. He moved a bit, fussing at first, but settled down when Alex laid a hand over his back. 

“How long...how long will he be here?” Nicky asked softly. 

“We’re not sure. If I had to guess, I’d say another month.” She said. “When the doctor has a moment, I’ll have her come talk to you.” She adjusted the monitor wires and slipped out of the room. 

“What should your name be?” Nicky murmured, leaning close enough to kiss the top of the baby’s head, covered in a hat. 

“I don’t know.” Alex said. “Thought we’d have more time.” 

“I know.” Nicky managed to smile. “But he needs a name.” 

“I...I don’t know.”

Nicky took a breath. “Since...since Hanna has my last name, my mother’s name, maybe he can have your last name?”

“You don’t want them to have same last name?” 

“I think it’s too long to use both.” Nicky shrugged. “I think...I think it’s good if he has your name.”

“Baby Ovechkin.” Alex said softly.

“Sounds pretty good.” Nicky smiled. “Did...did you want to name him after your brother?”

Alex swallowed hard and shook his head, eyes brimming with tears. He- he did want to, God knows he wanted to, but- “I think...think that name is too sad for him. Already sad. He needs his own name.” His voice was mostly steady. 

Nicky leaned his forehead against Alex’s shoulder, nodding. It wasn’t until he sniffled and a tear struck Alex’s bare skin that he realized he was crying. “Oh, Nicky…” Alex’s eyes watered over too. “Shh, don’t cry. Can’t tell him we cry on him first time we hold him.” He joked, voice shaking. 

Nicky gave a choked laugh, raising his head to look at Alex and the baby. “Sorry. I just…” he wiped his cheeks dry. “He’s been so alone.”

“Not alone now.” Alex said to the baby. “Never alone again. Lots of family, they’re gonna be so happy to meet you. Gonna love you lots.” He promised, voice cracking. Alex’s chest hurt at the love he felt for both of them, surprised at the sudden verocity of it. 

Nicky looked down, trying to collect himself. Alex squeezed his hand. “I love you.” Alex said. 

“I love you too.” Nicky repeated. The baby made a gentle sound, not quite fussing yet. Nicky’s smile softened even more. “I love you too.” 

A nurse showed them how they were feeding the little baby with a tiny bottle. Nicky’s hands shook as he imitated her. “Perfect, that’s perfect.” The nurse praised. “He’s been a really good eater for us. He’ll be doing all his meals by bottle soon.” 

“What do you mean?” Nicky asked. 

She pointed at a small tube that was taped to his cheek, coming from his nose. “Right now, he gets most of his food through this, because he hasn’t quite learned how to take a full bottle yet.”

Alex nodded and Nicky looked down, with a long blink to keep his eyes from welling over again. 

The nurse kept up a string of happy, calming commentary as she checked Baby Ovechkin’s vitals and ignored Nicky and Alex’s tearful expressions. If she recognized them she didn’t let on, which Alex appreciated. 

While they waited for the doctor, Nicky leaned against Alex while he held the baby, looking up baby names. He’d already made a couple suggestions but nothing had felt right. 

“What about Felix?” Nicky said. “It means happy. Or lucky.” 

“Felix.” Alex repeated slowly. “Spell it the American way?” 

“Or Russian, if you want.” Nicky shrugged. 

“I think, American way probably easier for him in school.” Alex nodded. “Felix and Hanna. Hanna and Felix.”

“Felix Aleksandrovich Ovechkin.” Nicky said, stumbling a bit over the patronym. Alex didn’t correct him. 

“Big name.”

“He can grow into it.” Nicky said. “Felix Ovechkin.” 

“I think it sounds right.” Alex said. He ducked his head to look at the infant in question. “What do you think?” 

Felix continued to snooze, completely out after a serving of warm formula. Nicky grinned, reaching out to touch his tiny hand. “Milk drunk.” He teased quietly. “Hanna would pass out and drool too.”

“Like father like daughter.” Alex said. Nicky gave him a stern look, which was ruined by the fact that he couldn’t stop smiling. 

Alex carefully adjusted the hat on Felix’s head and Nicky giggled quietly. Alex cocked his head, looking at him. “What’s funny?” He asked. 

“I didn’t tell anyone before I adopted Hanna, except my family.” Nicky’s eyes sparkled. “And now...no one knows again.” 

Alex chuckled too. “We gotta fell Hanna first.”

“I know.” Nicky nodded. “I think...we tell her tonight and see if they let kids visit. I don’t know if they do.” 

They talked to the doctor. They filed paperwork with the hospital so their son had a name. They set up who could visit and got approval for Alex’s parents to be able to visit during normal parental hours while Nicky and Alex were away. Hanna wouldn’t be able to visit. “But, during the day, you can use phones, so maybe a video chat would work?” The nurse suggested. “I’ve seen lots of families do that.” 

It was hard to leave, but Alex knew Felix was in good hands. 

They sat in the parking lot of the hospital and each called their parents. Alex’s parents were supportive and eager to meet the newest addition. After he promised they had lots of pictures to share that night, Alex said goodbye. 

He understood most of what Nicky was saying, though sometimes the blond spoke too quickly or fumbled his words, which made it harder to understand. From what he gathered though, it sounded like a pleasant conversation. 

When Nicky hung up, he smiled at Alex. “They’re happy?” Alex asked. 

“Yeah.” Nicky nodded. “They’re happy.” 

“Good.” Alex said. “Still coming for Christmas?” 

Nicky nodded. “Yeah.” He said. “I told them they might not be able to see Felix because he’s so little and we can’t have him get sick. They said that’s ok.” 

“Good.”

They picked Hanna up from school and sat her down on the couch at home. They chatted about her day at school until a lull in the conversation. “You know how we said we want to adopt a baby?” Alex said. 

“Uh huh.” Hanna nodded. 

“Do you remember Jasmine?” Nicky asked. 

Hanna smiled. “Yeah! I like Jasmine. She has pretty hair.” Hanna has met Jasmine a couple times when she’d come by to check the house and do routine pre-adoption visits. 

“She does.” Nicky nodded. “Jasmine called today. There’s a baby that she knows who needs a family. And she wanted to know if we wanted the baby to be part of our family.” 

Hanna nodded slowly. “Is it a girl?” 

“He’s a boy.” Nicky said, smiling as she sighed and slouched. “His name his Felix.”

“That’s a nice name, I guess.” She said, kicking her feet. “Are you sure I can’t have a sister?” 

“Well, Felix’s mama and papa can’t take care of him. He was supposed to go to another family, but they can’t take him. He’s a little bit lonely, needs lots of people to love him.” Alex explained. 

Hanna chewed at her bottom lip. “He’s lonely?” She asked. 

“Yeah.” Alex nodded. He didn’t know how to explain this to a 5 year old, but he thought they owed her the truth. “He had a twin brother, but his brother got too sick and passed away.” Alex’s eyes welled with tears at the thought. 

Hanna covered her mouth with her hands, eyes wide. “He’s all alone?” She asked in a whisper. 

“Right now he’s with doctors and nurses and they’re taking care of him.” Nicky assured her. “Do you want to see a picture of him?” 

Hanna nodded. Nicky pulled her into his lap, hugging her and showing her a picture on his phone. The blanket was covering monitor wires and the IV, but the oxygen and feeding tubes were still visible. “Ohhh, he’s so tiny.” She whispered. 

“He is.” Nicky agreed, kissing her head. “He’s gonna have to stay at the hospital until he gets big enough to be home.” 

“And then he can come here?” She asked. 

“Do you want that?” Alex asked. 

“I think...yeah.” Hanna nodded. “But I don’t wanna share my room.” 

Nicky laughed, kissing her again. “Felix will have his own room.” He said, smiling. 

“Do I have to share my toys?” She asked. 

“Maybe when he gets big. But when he gets big, you guys can be friends. Like Lyla and Leni.” 

“Ok. They share lots.” She said. “But they like it, I think. I have to share you?” 

Nicky buried his nose in her curls. “You have to share us too.” He said. “We’re never going to stop loving you, ok?” His voice wavered slightly. 

“Promise?” 

“Promise.” Alex said, watching Nicky fighting back tears.

Hanna looked up at Nicky, touching his cheek. “Papa, why are you crying?” She asked. 

Nicky laughed and closed his eyes. “Happy tears, I guess. Proud of you.” 

They showed Hanna more pictures of Felix and she marveled over how little and cute he was. 

“New babies need lots of help with things.” Nicky explained quietly. “Felix needs help eating and he needs help going to sleep and he can’t even crawl.” 

“He can’t even crawl?” Hanna asked, raising her eyebrows in surprise. 

“He can’t even crawl.” Nicky repeated. “So Sasha and I have to help him with all that. And you don’t need help eating, do you?”

“No.”

“And you don’t wear diapers, right?” He teased. 

She giggled. “Eww, no.” 

“Ok. Good.” Nicky hugged her. “So, we have to help him do those things until he gets big like you. Do you think you can help him too?”

“How?”

“He’s gonna need lots of hugs and kisses.” Alex said. “Gonna need someone to show him how to be big. You can help give him bottles.”

“I can do that.” She smiled. 

“You want to change diapers?” Nicky asked. 

Hanna squirmed, laughing. “No, those are icky.” She shook her head. “But I can give him kisses and hugs.” 

“Ok, good.” Alex said, smiling. “You’re a good big sister.”

She beamed at them. “Can I see him?”

Nicky shook his head. “Not until he’s big. If he’s too little for big kid germs.” 

“Ohhh. An’ there’s lots of germs at school.” Hanna said. 

“Exactly.” Nicky nodded. 

“Papa and me might be busy for a little bit visiting Felix.” Alex explained. “He’s too little to leave the hospital, but he still needs us.”

“What about me?”

Nicky hugged her tighter. “Well, we might go one at a time. And sometimes you might stay with Babu and Dedushka. And sometimes you might be with your friends anyway, so we could go see him then.” 

“Like when I spend the night with Leni and Lyla?” 

“Yeah.” Nicky said. 

“Papa, you’re squishing me.” Hanna said, wriggling free of his grasp. “After he gets big, he’s gonna live here, right?”

“Yeah.” Nicky nodded. “Do you want to help decorate his room?” The nearly empty office across from Hanna’s room would become the nursery, once they moved the desk and the accumulated hockey stuff that was piled in the corners. 

“Yes!” 

“Good.” Alex teased. “We need it to look pretty for him.” 

After practice the next day, Alex announced Felix’s arrival to the team, putting a picture in at the end of the video review. Afterwards, the boys came up and congratulated them. 

“Hey, if you need somewhere for Hanna to go, she’s always welcome at our house.” TJ said. “Leni would love it.” 

“Thank you.” Nicky said. Alex threw an arm around the blond’s shoulder, holding him close; he knew Nicky was uncomfortable with so much attention from the team. 

“I’m serious. When Lyla was born, she was in NICU for almost a month. I can’t imagine doing it with another kid.” He said earnestly. “I know you don’t want to pawn her off on people, but we understand how rough it is. We can do some sleepovers or something.” 

“That sounds good.”

“It can be hard, you know, on the parents when you have a sick kid.” TJ said, lowering his voice. “Just...make sure you’re spending time with each other too.” He had an unusually serious look on his face. 

Andre and Tom volunteered to take Hanna out to dinner and for fun things, basically promising to be the indulgent uncles they already were. 

John volunteered to have Hanna over to hang out with his kids too. “Seriously, there’s already three of them, Gina wouldn’t even notice if we had another.” He joked. 

Alex had initially thought, naively, that it wouldn’t be that bad while Felix was in the NICU. It was obviously sad, but he didn’t think he would be as distraught over it; they hadn’t had time to prepare beforehand, they hadn’t really had expectations. They hadn’t known about him at all, right up until the moment he was theirs. 

But, sitting by himself in the NICU, away from Nicky and Hanna, he couldn’t remember how he’d thought that. He hadn’t expected paternal urges to take over so abruptly; he hadn’t expected to love him so quickly. 

Felix could hold his finger. He was starting to learn to use a bottle. He opened his eyes, occasionally, and blinked up at Alex with deep blue eyes. Alex hated to leave him, but he hated to leave Hanna too. And Nicky. 

Nicky’s parents arrived a few days before Christmas. They were able to visit Felix for a few minutes but couldn’t hold him.

“Oh, look at all his hair.” Catrin whispered. “He’s very cute.” 

“He is.” Nicky smiled, cradling the tiny babe to his chest, shirt unbuttoned so they were skin to skin. 

“He’s lucky to have you both for parents.” Anders said slowly, careful with his words. “And lucky for Hanna too.”

“Thank you.” Nicky said, brushing his finger over Felix’s hair. 

Nicky’s parents took Hanna shopping for Christmas presents and Alex and Nicky stayed to cuddle with Felix. They fed him his formula and the nurse told them they were going to try decreasing his oxygen soon and try to wean him off of it. “It might not happen right away.” She cautioned them. “But he’s getting stronger.” 

Felix was two weeks old on Christmas Day. Nicky’s parents gave them an ornament for him, one that matched Hanna’s. They gave them tiny baby clothes that were still much too large. 

Both sets of grandparents took Hanna ice skating and Alex and Nicky went to the hospital to see Felix. The NICU nurses had decorated the ward with gentle lights and cheerful snowmen. They were wearing Santa hats and humming Christmas tunes. 

“This is harder than I thought.” Nicky said quietly. Alex nodded; between games, practices, Hanna, and family he hadn’t actually sat down with Nicky in weeks, except here in the hospital. 

“Only a few more weeks.” He said with determination. “Then he comes home.” 

They had a road trip after Christmas. Tatiana took over visiting Felix everyday, sending them pictures and updates. Nicky was quiet, which Alex knew was never good. Nicky was quiet, but Alex didn’t know what to do for him. He didn’t know what to do for himself, either. 

Alex...Alex hadn’t expected to struggle, not like this. He felt a half-step slow on the ice. He felt like he wasn’t where he was supposed to be. He didn’t know what to say to Nicky, to anyone. He felt unsettled, uneasy, and irritated with everything. He said things he shouldn’t, made comments that cut too deep. Maybe no one else noticed but Nicky; no one else was as vulnerable as Nicky. 

For the first time in years, they were completely out of sync. 

It was easier to hang out with their teammates and stay out too late. It wasn’t only Alex; Nicky seemed to be avoiding him. Nicky hung out with John and Andre and didn’t try to talk to Alex. It made it all the more tempting to opt for an extra drink instead of talking to him. What could Alex say? They were in the wrong place, perpetually. 

Felix was tiny, too tiny, and Alex lived in constant fear that a doctor would call and tell them he was getting worse instead of better. 

They returned home and still were dividing their time between their obligations, between their two children. Hanna hadn’t even met Felix, except through a video call. 

When Felix was almost one month old, Alex came home from the hospital and the house was quiet. It was January, it was cold and the weather channel was calling for snow. 

He found Nicky in the hammock anyway, wrapped in a thick down-filled duvet. “Where’s Hanna?” He asked. 

“At Oshie’s.” He whispered. Alex frowned; Nicky should’ve told him that earlier, instead of letting him come home to an empty house. Or maybe Nicky should’ve gone to the hospital to see Felix. 

“You ok?” He asked. Nicky shrugged. “Come inside. Too cold for hammocks.” Alex steered him inside. Nicky looked up at him, eyes red. “What’s wrong?”

“Just...it’s nothing.” Nicky ducked his head, slowing, putting space between them. As if there wasn’t enough already.

“Not nothing.” Alex sighed, frustrated. “What’s wrong?” 

Nicky looked away, shoulders shrugged up tight. “I- I don’t know.” He admitted. He rubbed at his eyes with his sleeves. 

“Nicky…” Alex said, irritation slipping into his tone. He was tired, they both were. Rationally, Alex knew he should walk away. He knew he was going to do something stupid. But, he was twisted out of sorts inside and he didn’t know what to do. “Just tell me.”

“I just- I don’t- I don’t know.” He stammered. “It’s nothing, it’s- it’s fine.” Nicky stuttered, sometimes. If he was nervous or anxious or if he wasn’t paying attention. It had never annoyed Alex before; the opposite, really- he’d always thought it was cute. He just...he felt like he had to lash out, he needed to provoke. 

“Tell me.” He persisted. 

“I-I- I’m- it’s-“ 

He sighed sharply. “Use your fucking words, Nick.” It could’ve been a joke, but his tone was too bitter; it could've been a joke, but Nicky went red, ashamed, and Alex regretted it immediately. 

Nicky turned away from him, leaving his pile of blankets by the door. He disappeared down the basement steps and the home was a different kind of quiet. It was an isolated, lonely sound that resonated through the house. 

He sat in the kitchen and drank a beer, and then another. Finally, he grabbed two more and went to find Nicky. He didn’t know what he was going to say, didn’t know if he was going to make things better. He didn’t know if he wanted to make things better, or if he wanted to really fight. 

The blond was kneeling on the floor, his hands in his lap, in front of Alex’s heavy bag. Alex paused at the foot of the steps when he came into view. Nicky’s head was tipped forward and his shoulders were shaking. 

Alex felt suddenly sick. 

He set the beers aside and knelt down beside Nicky, wrapping him in his arms. “I’m sorry.” He whispered, rocking him. Nicky sobbed brokenly against Alex’s shoulder and Alex’s heart hurt at the sound. His own eyes welled up with tears. 

“I’m sorry too.” Nicky whispered. 

Alex shook his head, cradling Nicky close as he cried. He hadn’t...he hadn’t touched Nicky this close in almost a month, not without hockey pads being in the way. How had it slipped away from them that quickly? How had he forgotten how lucky he was to have Nicky in his life? 

Alex was crying harder, and he couldn’t stop. Every sobbing breath hurt and he couldn’t see through the tears that clouded his vision. Nicky’s hair stuck to his cheeks. He didn’t know how long they sat on the floor like that, but it was long enough that the beers he’d brought as a token of apology were warm and flat. 

Nicky looked up at him with bloodshot eyes, his face blotchy and tear-stained; Alex didn’t imagine he looked much better. “Are you mad at me?” The Swede whispered. 

“No.” Alex shook his head. “Nicky, no. Not mad at you.” 

“You’ve been…” mean, Alex supplied mentally. He’d been mean, pushing Nicky away and making cruel slights. Nicky had pulled away and it had…

“It scared me. Still scares me. I- I don’t know. It’s like...it’s like I’m never in the right spot. Can’t be with Hanna and Felix together. Can’t be with him without leaving you. Or we both leave her. Or we leave both of them, for hockey.” He took a breath, stopping himself from rambling. 

“I know.” Nicky murmured. “I hate it.” 

“Miss you. I don’t see you anymore.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

“I’m sorry.” Alex said too. He kissed Nicky. Nicky brought his hands up to cup Alex’s cheeks and he caught one by the wrist. “Your hands…” his knuckles were bloodied. 

Nicky looked down, embarrassed, as his ears turned pink. “I- I didn’t- I wasn’t- I-“ he shut his mouth, closing his eyes tight. “Sorry.” 

He apologized for stuttering and Alex’s stomach sunk. “Don’t. It’s ok. Hard to find the right words, sometimes.” Nicky nodded. “It’s ok. I shouldn’t be mean.” 

“I didn’t wrap them.” Nicky said slowly. 

“Bag not supposed to fight back.” Alex teased carefully, relaxing when Nicky smiled sheepishly. 

“I mean...I don’t fight much, so…”

Alex laughed, hugging him. “Heavy bag got you, huh?” Nicky nodded and went slack against Alex’s chest. “Bed?”

“Yeah.” Nicky nodded. 

They didn’t solve anything, not really, but Alex felt better than he had in awhile. He fell asleep with Nicky draped across his back, an arm wrapped tightly around him. He knew, in the morning, the other man would have stolen all the blankets, but he didn’t really care. 

In the morning, Alex woke up to a text from TJ saying he and Lauren were taking the girls to zoo for the day. It was accompanied by a picture of the three of them in the backseat of the Oshie family car, all smiling happily. 

Alex fell back to sleep with a smile on his face too, holding Nicky close. 

When he woke up again, Nicky was still asleep, his head on Alex’s chest. Alex picked up his hand, frowning at the bruising on his fingers. His old broken finger was puffy and a bit swollen from the abuse. Alex kisses it tenderly. 

“Hmmm?” Nicky blinked up at him. 

“Finger looks swollen.” Alex said, kissing it. Nicky closed his eyes and Alex kissed his finger again before wrapping his lips around it and sucking on the tip. 

“Sasha…” Nicky blinked at him with wide pupils, looking dazed. 

Alex kissed him and Nicky melted in his arms. He kept kissing him until he couldn’t bear not to touch him more. Nicky whimpered when he pulled back for a second, looking moments away from protesting before Alex gently pulled off his shirt and kissed him again. 

It was gentle, so gentle, and sweet. Nicky made quiet noises that Alex swallowed up greedily. Alex kissed his face, his cheeks still salty from tears. Nicky clung to him. 

Alex wrapped a hand around Nicky’s cock, jerking him off until Nicky came between them with a bitten off cry. Shakily, Nicky grabbed Alex and jacked him off too. 

Alex’s world went dark for a second as orgasm washed over him. When he opened his eyes again, Nicky kissed him more, lazily licking into his mouth. His hands traced abstract patterns over his chest, warm and broad. 

They had time to themselves, but they didn’t. Every moment they laid in bed, Felix was alone in a hospital surrounded by people that, though they were no longer strangers, weren’t family. 

Alex tugged Nicky into the shower with him. Nicky was pliant and quiet, still half asleep. Alex washed his hair and smiled as Nicky leaned into his touch. “Feels good?” Alex asked. 

“Yeah.” Nicky mumbled. 

Felix was only on oxygen when something was being done with him, which the nurses all assured them was progress. He was getting two full meals a day from his bottle. “When they’re really little, drinking from a bottle can actually be too much work for them.” The nurse explained. “But he’s still putting on weight, we’re really happy with it.” 

Felix weighed almost 4lbs. Alex smiled as he watched him latch onto the bottle eagerly. “Yes, very yummy.” He cooed. “Drink up, get big and strong.” 

Nicky leaned against his side, gently touching the baby’s feet. Alex couldn’t believe how small he was. He couldn’t believe he was the biggest he’d ever been. “You know how they always joke about parents counting fingers and toes, when the baby is born?” Nicky said. 

“Yeah.”

“I did that with Hanna.” Nicky admitted. “Twice.” 

Alex smiled at him. “What about Felix?”

“He has all his toes too.” Nicky said, smiling back. 

“Good, good.” Alex chuckled. 

The nurse explained to them that Felix would be ready to go home soon. “Once he’s eating all his meals from bottles and he doesn’t need oxygen. He’ll probably need to be above 4lbs, but he’s getting really close.” She gently adjusted Felix’s blanket. “He’s a tough little guy.”

After they left, they sat in the car a long time in the parking lot. Alex didn’t want to leave, but they had things to do. Nicky looked up. “I think...we need to talk.” He said quietly. 

Alex nodded. “Yeah.”

Nicky was staring at the dashboard. “We haven’t been...we haven’t been doing good, lately.” He said, carefully choosing his words. 

Alex nodded. “I know. I’m sorry.” 

Nicky nodded too. “Did you know...divorce rates go up when you have- when a baby is in NICU?”

Alex squeezed Nicky’s hand. “I didn’t.” 

“Yeah. Apparently...apparently it does.” Nicky finally looked up at him. “I don’t want that to happen to us.” He whispered. 

Alex leaned across the car and kissed him. “Not going anywhere.” He promised. Nicky kissed him back with a little desperation. Alex broke the kiss for a second. “I’m sorry I was mean before.” 

Nicky nodded. “I’m sorry I...I pulled away.” 

“It’ll be easier when he’s home.” Alex said. 

“Easier, not easy.” Nicky said. “With Hanna-“

“I didn’t help enough with Hanna.” Alex interrupted. “You did everything yourself at first. Gonna be easier this time.” 

“It’s still not going to be easy.” Nicky warned him. 

“Not gonna be harder than this.” Alex said. Nicky tipped his head, conceding the point quietly. 

At home, they got Hanna’s old crib and bassinet out of the basement. They’d been reluctant to do it before, because what if he’d never come home? But now, the end was in sight. 

They sorted through Hanna’s old clothes, which Nicky had put away by size in plastic tubs. Even the smallest things were still too big for Felix. But fortunately, so few things Nicky had bought had been pink. 

“I didn’t know, at first. That she was gonna be a girl.” Nicky explained, smoothing out a wrinkle in a tiny jersey. “And then, once I’d looked at the girl clothes...I hated them.” He admitted, scrunching his nose.

Alex laughed. “Everything always has bows and pink everywhere.”

“I know. And...and all the boy clothes have baseballs? I don’t know why.” Nicky shook his head. “I don’t really understand baseball.” 

“It’s for eating, I think. Fun to sit at the game and eat all the food.” Alex joked. Alex had only gone to a couple games for promotions with the Capitals and he followed the local team with a passing interest. 

“Maybe.” Nicky shrugged. “I’m sure Felix will get lots of jerseys too.” 

“Lots.” Alex agreed. 

They took Hanna to pick out a couple appropriately-sized outfits for her brother. She frowned over the boys clothes. “These are ugly.” She decided. 

Nicky tried not to laugh. “Well, let’s find him something not ugly.” 

“Can wear pajamas.” Alex suggested. “Babies sleep all the time anyway.” 

Hanna finally settled on some pajamas, each that had a different animal on them. Nicky grabbed a few plain gray onesies and pants. 

“Look how little the socks are.” Hanna said. “Are his feet that little?”

Alex hugged her. “Even more little.” He said, picking her up. 

Her eyes widened. “Even more little?” She repeated. 

“He’s littler than your bear.” Nicky explained. 

“But that’s so tiny.” She shook her head. “He can’t be that little.” She said with disbelief. 

They brought Felix home the last week of January, three weeks before his due date and 7 weeks after he’d been born. Tatiana and Mikhail waited with Hanna at home to meet him. They got Hanna a t shirt that said ‘big sister’, a gift they told her was from Felix. 

Alex carried him into the house, sitting on the couch so Hanna could see him. She cooed over him. Nicky showed her how she could touch his hair gently. He showed her his tiny feet and hands. She stared at him with wide eyes. 

“Can I hold him?” She asked. 

“Yeah. But have to be careful, ok?” Alex said. “He’s really little, needs lots of help.” 

They propped her up with some pillows and carefully positioned her brother in her arms. She smiled at him and kissed the top of his head. “He smells good.” She whispered. 

“Babies smell good.” Nicky agreed. “Big kids...not so much.” He teased. 

Hanna scowled at him. “Papa…” she whined. 

“I’m only teasing.” He promised, sitting on the floor beside the couch. 

Tatiana gently pushed Alex closer. “Ok, have to take some pictures, ok? Need lots of pictures for baby book.” 

After plenty of pictures had been taken, Felix started to fuss, little arms struggling against the blanket he was wrapped in as his face scrunched up. 

“Why is he doing that?” Hanna asked. 

“He’s hungry.” Nicky explained. “You want to help make his bottle?” 

Hanna did and she was happy to press the button on the bottle warmer. Pressing buttons was a key 5 year old skill, Alex was learning. He listened to Nicky explain to her how the formula couldn’t be too hot, or it could hurt him. 

Tatiana sat down beside Alex, smiling at her grandson. “He’s very cute.” She said. “Lots of hair. You had lots of hair too.” 

“Really?” 

“Yeah. I need to find your old baby book. Lots of good pictures.” She looked at him. “Lots of pictures with your brothers.” 

Alex nodded, feeling a lump in his throat. He hadn’t explained to his mother why- “Wanted to name a boy after Sergei but…” he swallowed. His mother squeezed his hand gently. 

“Felix is perfect.” She assured him. “He needs his own name. He’s already had such a hard time.”

Alex looked back down at his son, blinking back tears. Soon, Hanna returned with the bottle. “Papa says this is enough milk. But I don’t know.” She said, looking over her shoulder at Nicky with an obvious air of skepticism. 

Alex stifled a laugh. “His tummy is very little.” He assured her. “He eats a lot, but only a little bit at a time.” 

Alex showed her how to hold the bottle and she sat beside him, holding it with him. She watched her brother attentively until the bottle was done and Alex burped him. 

“Daddy?” She asked. 

“Yeah?”

“Is this all he does?” 

Tatiana laughed. “He has to get big before he can do things and play with you.” She explained. “Let’s go look at your baby book, so you see how little you were.” She decided. 

Alex shifted Felix to Nicky’s arms and the blond smiled at both of them. “She likes him.” Nicky said. “So that’s good.”

“He’s not a toddler yet.” Alex pointed out. Hanna had been a very opinionated toddler, though they had been generally luckily with her temperament. She’d really only had a few true temper tantrums. Alex wasn’t sure they’d be that lucky a second time. 

“True.” Nicky chuckled. He glanced at Alex. “I know everyone wants to meet him…”

“But?” Alex prompted. 

“He’s just...he’s so little. And it’s flu season. I just…”

“He’ll still be cute when he’s bigger.” Alex said, wrapping an arm around Nicky’s shoulders. “Don’t have to have lots of people here yet.”

“I mean, I wish everyone could but...I was so scared when Hanna got sick. And she was almost twice his size then.” He admitted in undertones, face flushing. 

Alex kissed Nicky’s cheek, leaning his forehead against his temple. “I know. Scared me too. Don’t want him back at the hospital.” He agreed. “No visitors for a little while. It’s ok.” 

Felix was the most content baby Alex had ever known, though he readily admitted he’d known very few babies. Even when he cried, it was so quiet and soft they’d taken to setting alarms to wake up to feed him, because he fussed so quietly it didn’t wake them up. 

“Hey there.” He whispered, picking him up from the bassinet. “Hi.” 

Felix stopped squirming when he was placed on Alex’s chest. Alex took him to the nursery to feed him, rocking him in the rocking chair Nicky had made for Hanna. “Papa’s going to have to make you something.” Alex decided. “After we retire, he’ll have lots of time.” 

Felix didn’t seem to care about anything besides the bottle. Alex watched him eagerly eat, some milk spilling down his chin. 

After he’d been burped, he fell back to sleep easily. Alex sat rocking him a while longer, until the nursery door pushed open. 

“Hey.” Nicky whispered. 

Alex grinned. “Hi. Why are you awake?” 

Nicky shrugged, sitting on the floor beside them and leaning against the dresser. “I don’t know.” He admitted. “Just woke up.” 

Alex smiled. “Gonna take him back to bed.” He said. “You want to say good night?” 

Nicky sat up straighter, leaning in to press a kiss to Felix’s head. “Good night, alskling.” He whispered. 

Nicky stumbled after Alex to the bedroom and snuggled in against him to fall asleep. 

Alex didn’t spend the night when Hanna was little. He hadn’t spent the night until after she’d been released from the hospital and even then, he’d had to go back to Russia pretty quickly. He thought he’d been around for enough of the newborn phase to understand it, but he obviously hadn’t. 

“All babies spit up this much?” Alex asked, stripping his shirt off and throwing it in the general direction of the laundry room. 

Nicky looked amused. “You missed it with Hanna. I had to change her formula because it was so bad.” He wiped Felix’s face dry with a burp cloth. “But, yeah, apparently they do.”

“You never tell me everything I missed with Hanna.” Alex said. 

“I thought it would make you sad.” Nicky shrugged. 

“What else did I miss?” He asked, curious. 

“Hmmm. First ear infection. First time she threw up. On me. She use to scratch her face in her sleep if she got out of her swaddle.” Nicky ticked off each item on his fingers. “She had cradle cap for a little while. It’s like...baby dandruff.”

Alex’s eyes went wide. “And good stuff too?” He’d started spending more time with her when she was almost three months old. Surely there were good things happening in the first couple months. 

Nicky smiled. “Yeah. Lots of good stuff. She learned to smile. She learned to turn her head and look at me. That was...that was my favorite, I think.”

“Why?”

Nicky was deliberately focusing on Felix’s tiny hands and his ears were a bit pink. “Because, until she did that she was...she didn’t seem really aware. And then she could recognize my voice and she was looking for me. It’s...it was the first thing she did where she seemed like she liked me.” He finished softly. 

Alex squeezed his shoulder. “First time she laugh at me, I think it my favorite. But so much good stuff.”

“Yeah.” Nicky agreed, leaning into Alex’s space. “We get to do it again.”

“Gonna be even better this time.” Alex promised. 

Playing when his sleep was so interrupted was rough. February was close to the end of the season, but not close enough that anything was set in stone. They weren’t necessarily a lock to make the playoffs; they could still fall in the points. 

Their team was doing well though, Alex’s exhaustion aside. He didn’t know what it would take for something to really affect Nicky’s play. Alex felt like he was working harder than ever before to keep doing what he’d been doing; Nicky made it look easy, for the most part. 

The first road trip after they brought Felix home was thankfully short; only two games. 

“Is it bad I’m excited to sleep in a hotel?” He asked after morning skate. 

John Carlson laughed. “It’s normal.”

“I mean, obviously, I miss Hanna and Felix.” Alex started, feeling Nicky’s eyes on him. “But...we get to sleep all night.” 

“Only sleep?” Nicky asked, raising his eyebrows. 

TJ laughed and Alex turned to give Nicky a toothy grin. “You making plans for the roadie, Nicky?” He teased. 

Nicky looked him up and down, eyes dark, and then shrugged, feigning indifference. “Eh. We’ll see.” He said, trying not to smile.

The boys laughed and Alex winked at Nicky, watching him flush a bit. Nicky was so fucking easy, Alex thought warmly. 

They flew out that afternoon and Nicky was asleep within minutes of the plane taking off. TJ sat down across the aisle from them, kicking his foot into Alex’s leg. 

“How’s Felix?” He asked. 

Alex grinned and pulled out his phone, showing him pictures. “He’s good. Doctor said he’s gaining weight ok. Hanna loves him.” 

“That’s great.” TJ said, smiling. “He’s really cute.” 

“He is.” Alex agreed. “Once he gets bigger, want to have more people meet him. He’s so little still.” 

“Yeah, no, that makes sense.” TJ said. “I get that. Anything not to go back to NICU.”

“Exactly.” Alex agreed. He looked over. “It was...worse than I thought, him being there.” He admitted in undertones. 

“Yeah.” TJ nodded. “Me and Lauren fought over stupid shit when Lyla was in the hospital.” He shared. 

Alex was a little relieved it wasn’t just them. “Yeah, we...it wasn’t good.” He said, making a sour expression. He didn’t want to overshare about their relationship. 

TJ gave a rueful smile. “Hopefully you don’t have to do it again.” 

Alex glanced at Nicky, nodding. “Yeah.” 

Tatiana sent them lots of pictures of the kids, including one of Hanna holding Felix on the couch, looking down at him lovingly. Nicky saved it as his background. 

They slept, among other things. They won. Nicky got three assists in each game, and Alex got two goals and a couple assists of his own. 

For Valentine’s Day, they made no plans and things somehow still went wrong. 

Alex started the day doing a promotional event that Nicky had begged off from. He dropped Hanna off at school along the way. When he left to go home, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and saw he had a multitude of missed calls from Nicky, and a few others from other teammates. He tried calling Nicky back, but it went straight to voicemail. 

He drove home with a lurching, worried feeling in the pit of his stomach. Nicky’s car was still in the garage and he relaxed a bit as he opened the door into the house. 

He stopped short at the sight of Tom Wilson in his living room, holding Felix in his arms. “What’re you doing with my kid?” He asked. 

“You didn’t talk to Nicky?” Tom asked. 

“No. Where is he?” Alex sat down beside him, and Tom passed Felix to him. Alex felt a little more settled with him in his arms. 

“He cut his hand and it needed stitches.” 

“Cut his hand?” Alex asked, raising his eyebrows. 

“I don’t know. Burky and me were going to go grab lunch and he called. I cleaned up the blood as best I could. It looked pretty deep.” Tom said quietly. “Burky drove him.”

“No one called me?”

“Nicky said he tried a bunch.”

“You don’t think, maybe we should text Ovi?” Alex asked, exasperated. 

“Dude, I don’t know.” Tom said, running a hand through his hair and looking flustered. “I had to clean up blood and feed a baby, I thought Nicky would’ve texted you.” 

Alex sighed. “Not your fault.” He rocked Felix gently. “How’d he cut his hand?” 

“With a knife?” 

“What was he doing?” 

Tom shrugged. “I dunno. I got here and he had it wrapped in a towel and Burky said he’d drive him to the hospital. That’s all I know.”

“How long ago?”

“Couple hours.” Tom said. “I fed Felix and changed his diaper. I had a sandwich for lunch. I hope that’s ok.”

“It’s ok.” Alex said, patting Felix’s back absently. “Thank you.”

Tom finally smiled. “Yeah, not how I expected to meet your boy.” He teased. “Andre’s pretty sad he couldn’t hold him.” 

Alex nodded. “Trying to keep him from getting sick.” He explained. “Not...not hiding him from you guys.”

“I know, I get it.” Tom said. “He’s, like, the most chill baby I’ve ever met.” 

Alex nodded. “He’s pretty great.” 

Tom pulled his phone from his pocket and grinned at something before showing Alex a text he’d gotten from Andre, which included a picture of a grouchy-looking Nicklas Backstrom with his left hand wrapped in gauze in the front seat of Andre’s car.

Nicky gave Alex a sheepish look when he got home. “Hey.” He said, blushing a bit. 

Alex cocked his head. “Hey. How’d you cut your hand?” He asked, unable to imagine why the blond was looking embarrassed. 

“I...I was cutting apples.” He admitted. 

“Apples?” Alex asked incredulously. 

Nicky shifted restlessly, picking at the gauze around his hand. “Your mom gave me her recipe for apple cake, I thought...I thought I’d make it. For Valentine’s Day.” He explained quietly. 

“Oh, Nicky…” Alex said fondly. “Oh, Nicky…” 

Nicky tried to keep a straight face, ignoring Alex and the way their friends were staring at him. “Bura, wash your hands if you want to hold Felix.” He said. “I’m gonna go change.” His shirt was splattered in blood, Alex noticed. 

By the time Nicky came back, Alex had Andre situated on the couch holding Felix. “He’s so cute, look at his little nose.” Andre cooed. 

Nicky sat down beside Alex, leaning against his chest. “Maybe the rest of the day goes ok, you got the bad luck over with early.” Alex teased, kissing his cheek. 

Nicky chuckled. “You want to see a picture of my hand?” He offered. 

Alex nodded, whistling appreciatively when Nicky showed him the photo of the wound after it had been cleaned at the hospital and then another after the stitches had been finished. The cut was between his finger and thumb. 

“I guess I got a vein. It...there was lots of blood.” Nicky said. “Bur almost passed out.”

“Fuck you, I did not.” He said. Tom pretended to cover Felix’s ears and Andre blushed. “Sorry, little guy.” In his arms, Felix continued to sleep soundly, ignoring them. 

“Yeah, but he didn’t have to clean it up.” Tom teased. 

Nicky frowned. “You didn’t have to-“

“Nicky, c’mon. I couldn’t just leave it. It’s fine.” Tom laughed. “With how often you fed us, I probably should’ve cleaned the kitchen more anyways.” 

Nicky tipped his head, conceding to the point. “You could still make up for it.” He said, smirking. 

Tom rolled his eyes and Andre laughed. 

Eventually, they left, once Felix started to fuss for his next bottle. Nicky cradled the babe close to his chest, kissing his forehead. “I know, you’re starving.” He said sweetly as Alex went to get his bottle. 

Felix gulped it down eagerly as soon as he could and Nicky adjusted him in his arms. “If you eat that fast, you’ll throw up.” He mumbled. “Then no one will be happy.”

Alex grinned and slung an arm over Nicky’s shoulders, leaning close. Felix settled down a bit and Nicky looked up at Alex. “So, I was thinking…” he began. 

“Mhm?”

“Maybe we just keep Hanna and Felix here tonight.”

Alex raised his eyebrows. “Both? Hanna’s gonna be sad. Mama promised they were gonna make pink cookies.” Nicky bit his lip. “You don’t want to go out?” Alex guessed. 

Nicky shrugged. “I don’t want...I don’t want to be away more than we have to be.” He said, touching Felix’s cheek when he started to fall asleep. “It’s not even his due date yet.” He pointed out. 

Alex nodded. “Ok.”

“Ok?” Nicky looked up at him. 

“Ok. Hanna can still go make cookies, Felix can be only child for a night.” Alex said. “He needs lots of snuggles too.” 

“That sounds nice.” Nicky agreed. “We could do take out?” He asked. 

Alex grinned. “You just want pad thai.” He teased. 

“Maybe. Last time you cooked on Valentine’s Day-“

“I know, I know.” Alex interrupted. Last time he cooked for them on Valentine’s Day, he made Nicky raspberry glazed chicken, which would have been perfect had Nicky not been allergic to raspberries. “Won’t kill you this time.” He promised. 

Nicky giggled, relaxing back against the cushions. “Good.” He looked down at Felix. “He’s still smaller than Hanna when she was born.” He said, tracing his fingers down his cheek again. 

“He’s ok.” Alex said. “Gonna be big someday.” 

“Mhm.” Nicky hummed. 

They spent Valentine’s Day quietly at home. Tatiana sent pictures of Hanna and the cookies she had made, and then pictures later of the kindergartener cuddled up on the couch with her grandfather, both asleep. 

They watched a movie. Alex rested Felix on his chest, with Nicky leaning against his side. Felix was sound asleep and Nicky was blinking thickly like he wouldn’t be awake much longer. “I think this is my favorite Valentine’s Day so far.” Nicky said, yawning. 

Alex grinned and kissed his head. “Mine too.” He agreed. In his sleep, Felix made what sounded like a contented noise, but maybe Alex was projecting; it was probably gas. 

The next day was not Alex’s favorite anything. The next day, they had to go to the school to pick up Hanna because she’d been fighting. 

Felix was in a carrier on Nicky’s chest, which Alex always thought was adorable but was now particularly grateful for, because nothing tempered the effect of Nicky’s murder glare quite like an infant being strapped to him. 

Claire and her daughter Ellie were also in the office. Claire looked like she was ready to cry and Ellie looked like she already had. Hanna looked indignant, arms crossed in the corner chair. In the assistant principal’s office was a boy and his mother. 

“What happened?” Alex asked Hanna, kneeling in front of her. 

“He was teasing Ellie!” She said. “He-“

“Mr. Ovechkin-“ the principal interrupted. “Mr. Backstrom. The-“

Nicky sighed. “Can our daughter tell us what happened, please?” He asked, turning towards Hanna. 

Hanna looked relieved to see them, Alex realized, not afraid or worried. Relieved, because she didn’t think they’d think she’d done anything bad, he reasoned. “That’s Keagan.” She said, pointing. “He’s in our class. He always teases Ellie and it makes her sad and Ms. Duncan moved his seat twice and he still does it.” She began. 

Alex nodded; he’d heard about Keagan a lot so far, never good. “And...And today he made fun of Ellie a lot and wouldn’t stop, even when she asked him too. I told him he should stop.” 

“Really,” the principal interjected. “I think it would be best if-“

“She wasn’t done.” Nicky said icily, bandaged hand patting Felix’s back and the other clutching tight to the back of Ellie’s chair. 

Hanna nodded. “I told him to stop and he laughed and said no. And then- And then he pulled her dress up! All the way! So I pushed him.” 

“She punched him.” The principal said sharply. 

“He hit me! So, I hit him harder!” Hanna chirped. 

Alex wanted to smile, really wanted to smile, but he didn’t. He glanced at Nicky, and then at the principal who was shifting uneasily. 

Nicky nodded thoughtfully. “How is Keagan being punished for this?”

“Well, given that he didn’t instigate-“

“He bullied another student. He struck our daughter.” Nicky said slowly, picking his words like he was picking stones to throw. “English is my second language, Mr. Graves, but instigate means ‘started it’, correct?”

“Well, as I was saying-“

“What should Hanna do, next time someone bullies her and her friends?” Nicky continued, as though he hadn’t heard the other man. “The teacher can't control this student. Should she just do nothing when he pulls on a girls clothes?”

“She instigated a physical altercation, sir.” Mr. Graves said, clearly flustered. 

Hanna squeezed Alex’s hand tight. Alex cleared his throat. “Doesn’t sound like she started it.”

“Well, the school has a zero tolerance policy.” The man said. “Any student involved in a physical altercation has to have out of school suspension and a note on their student record.”

Nicky blinked. “So...my daughter will miss school because her teacher cannot stop a child from being a bully in class?” He asked. “Just to make sure we understand, sir.” Nicky narrowed his eyes. 

“Any student-“

“Is Keagan going to be moved to a different class?” Claire interrupted. “Ellie has nightmares about him, Mr. Graves. Ms. Duncan hasn’t answered my emails about this.”

The principal fell quiet. “He got moved already.” Hanna said helpfully. “He usta be in Ms. J’s class.” Ellie nodded in tearful agreement. 

“No one has done anything and Ellie’s scared to go to school. If she was 14 and he pulled her skirt up, you’d do something, right? Just because she’s 5 doesn’t mean it’s ok.” Claire rubbed her own eyes dry. 

In the end, Keagan was suspended 3 days and was going to be moved to a different class, Ellie was able to go home with Claire for the rest of the day, and Hanna was suspended one day for her involvement. 

Nicky was quietly fuming. 

“That’s insane.” He said once they were outside. 

Claire nodded, drying her eyes again. Alex touched her arm. “You ok?”

“She’s- I’ve complained before about this and they just laugh it off. They tell her he must have a crush on her.” 

“Maybe he does.” Alex shrugged. 

Claire shook her head. “What do you think it does to a girl if you tell her if boys like her, they’re going to be mean?” She asked. Her words made Alex feel sick to his stomach and he glanced over to where the girls were looking at a pile of slush beside the flagpole. “If everyone keeps telling her he must like her a lot...How’s she supposed to know she’s- How’s she supposed to know when to leave?”

“I don’t know.” Alex admitted. “I’m sorry. I don’t know.” 

Claire was blushing. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” She laughed, a bit hysterically. “It’s not your fault, obviously I just-“

“No, it’s good. I didn’t think...can’t tell them means boys like them. That’s not good.” Alex agreed; he felt like he knew a missing piece in the story of Ellie’s parents separation, in why she hadn’t seen her dad in so long. “I don’t know much about girls.” He teased, breaking the tension. 

Claire laughed, relaxing, and Nicky rolled his eyes. “You used to know lots about girls, if I remember right.” He said, biting back a grin. 

“Long time ago.” Alex said, waving his hand dismissively. Claire looked between the two of them, amused. 

“Claire, I think we’re going to take Hanna to get ice cream. You and Ellie can come too.” Nicky offered. “It’s been a bad day and Hanna has really wanted Ellie to meet Felix.”

“That would be nice.” 

McDonald’s had ice cream, and an indoor playground. Alex and Nicky has learned that if you give a 5 year old ice cream, they need to burn off the energy before you put them back in the car. 

“Look how little his fingers are.” Hanna said, holding her little brothers hand. “They’re so tiny.” 

“He’s so cute!” Ellie cooed. 

“But he can be really stinky.” Hanna added. 

“Hanna Catrin.” Nicky chided. “Be nice.” 

“But I love him a lot.” She added, looking suitably chastised. 

“Thank you.” Alex said, stifling a laugh. 

Soon, the girls ran off to play on the playground and Alex offered to let Claire hold Felix. 

“Oh, he’s such a sweetheart.” She cooed. “His little nose is adorable. How old is he?”

“2 months.” Alex answered. “But, due date isn’t until the 19th.”

“Ellie was 8 weeks early.” Claire said. “She caught up by about 2 years old. The doctor said we’d get a little extra baby time with her.”

“He weighed almost 5lbs at his last appointment.” Nicky said. “Hanna weighed more when she was born.” 

Claire nodded. “He’ll catch up.” She said. “Then you’ll wonder when he got so big.” In her arms, Felix opened his eyes to make tiny discontent sounds and she wordlessly handed him back to Alex. Nicky pulled a bottle from the diaper bag for him. 

After the girls had worn themselves out, they headed home. Hanna swung her feet and made faces at Felix until he closed his eyes and fell asleep. “Am I in trouble?” She asked. “Do I hafta do a two minutes?” 

Alex and Nicky shared a glance. “We’re not...we’re not happy you got in a fight.” Nicky started slowly. “But, we’re proud of you for standing up for yourself and Ellie.” 

“Do you think Uncle Tom will be proud of me too?” She asked. “He taught me how to punch.”

“He what?” Nicky asked, twisting in his seat to look at her. Alex covered his mouth, trying not to laugh. 

“He told me how. You hafta keep your thumb out, or it could get hurt.” She said, holding up her hand to demonstrate. “An’ he said you shouldn’t hit people in the face. So I hit him in the belly.” 

“When- when did he tell you that?” Nicky asked. 

“When him and Maymay took me to dinner. When Felix was at the hospital.” She said. “It was really fun.” 

“Sounds like it.” Nicky said, slouching back in his seat and rubbing at his temples. 

Alex squeezed his hand. 

At home, Hanna raced to her room to get her stuffed animals. Alex rocked Felix in his arms. “You gonna yell at Willy?” He asked in undertones. 

“Maybe.” Nicky admitted, looking at his phone. “But...at least she didn’t break her thumb.” 

Alex laughed, handing Felix to him. “Here, cuddle him.” Nicky ducked his head to smell the top of the baby’s head. “Maybe after hockey, we make a candle that smells like babies.” He teased. 

“Maybe.” He said quietly. “Do we...do we need to do something to Hanna? For her?” 

“It’s not like she’s starting fights.” Alex said. “She’s...Do you want her to not stop someone being mean to other people?”

“I don’t know.” Nicky admitted. “I don’t want the school to think she’s bad. She’s- she’s so good.”

“She’s really good.” Alex agreed softly, kissing Nicky’s cheek. “She’s gonna be ok.”

“So we’re not gonna do anything?” Nicky asked. 

“Maybe we teach her she doesn’t have to fight. Can...she can talk and get things solved that way.” 

“Yeah, ok.” Nicky nodded, taking another deep inhale of their son’s head. “We could make a lot of money on the candles.” He said quietly, grinning when Alex cracked up laughing. 

The next day Nicky cornered Tom after morning skate and for all that the younger man was taller and heavier than Nicky, he still looked cowed by Nicky’s disappointed look. “Hanna got in a fight at school yesterday.” He said. 

Tom looked surprised. “What? Really?”

Alex stepped in, before Nicky could get too far in scaring their teammate. “Bully was being mean to her friend, Ellie. He pulled her dress up.”

“And Hanna hit him?”

“She pushed him away.” Nicky said. “He hit her and she hit him back. She wanted to tell you she remembered to keep her thumb safe.” Nicky’s lips twitched in a smile and Tom relaxed a bit. 

“That’s good. That’s good.” He laughed. “Yeah, I showed her. She said some kid was being mean at school. I told her not to start anything.”

“Just to finish it?” Nicky raised an eyebrow. 

Tom shrugged. “Yeah, basically.” He said. “That other kid sounded like a monster though.” 

“He is.” Nicky said. “She got suspended one day from school.”

Tom looked appalled. “She what? That’s bullshit, he started it.” 

Alex chuckled. “Thought Nicky was gonna kill the principal.” 

Three days later, Alex posted their official adoption announcement about Felix online. He shared a picture of his tiny fingers gripping Alex’s pinky; Nicky had been hesitant to post a picture of him online. “He’s just...he’s so little.” He said quietly. 

“Little but strong.” Alex said. 

“I know.” Nicky said. “I didn’t share pictures of Hanna either, until she was bigger.” 

Alex shared a link to a foundation that supported premature babies and funding for research relating to it. They brought Felix back to the NICU to see the nurses that had taken care of him for so long. 

They staff was happy to see him, smiling and talking about how big he’d gotten. Alex, Nicky, and Felix took pictures with the nurses and distributed the gift bags they’d gotten for them as a token of thanks. 

Felix celebrated his due date by spitting up on Alex and managing to get it in his hair. Wordlessly, Nicky passed Alex a burp cloth and took the baby to clean his face. “You sure nothing’s wrong with him?” Alex asked, cleaning himself up. 

“Babies spit up right after they eat.” He said, playing with Felix’s feet. “He’s still gaining weight. He’s ok.” 

“How come he never spits up on you?” Alex asked. 

Nicky shrugged, smiling to himself. “Lucky, I guess.”

“Lucky my ass.” Alex grumbled, going to find a fresh shirt. 

When he came back downstairs, he paused just out of sight to listen to Nicky singing a quiet lullaby. He rounded the corner and Nicky looked up at him, grinning. “Nice shirt.” He said; Alex was wearing a Backstrom t shirt. 

“My favorite player.” He said, sitting down beside them. “He’s pretty cute.”

Nicky snorted. “Well, that’s the important part.”

“Gives me good passes.” Alex put his arm around Nicky’s shoulders. “Gives good kisses too.” 

Nicky turned his head to kiss Alex. “You’re ridiculous.” 

After school, they explained to Hanna what they’d done that day. She nodded, looking thoughtful. “So, it’s like his birthday again?” 

“Kind of.” Nicky nodded. 

“But I didn’t get him anything.” She said, eyes wide. 

Alex laughed. “You give him hugs and kisses, that makes him most happy.” He assured her. 

She sat on the floor surrounded by pillows to feed Felix his bottle, Nicky sitting beside her in case she needed help. “Hey, Papa?”

“Yeah?”

“Would Felix still be my brother if his real birthday was today?”

Nicky glanced up at Alex. “Probably not.” He said slowly. 

“Oh.” She looked down at her brother, leaning forward to kiss his forehead. “I’m glad he decided to have an early birthday then.” 

Alex’s eyes went misty and he smiled. “Me too.” He squeezed Nicky’s shoulder. The memories of how difficult life had been when Felix had been in the NICU for almost two months were fresh in his mind. He’d felt anxious just walking into the ward at the hospital and he could tell Nicky did too. 

But, he’d do it all over again in a heartbeat to have Felix here with them. 

Five years together and a decade of friendship before, and Nicky finally told Alex when something was bothering him. He wrapped his arms around Alex in bed, snuggled up behind him. “My hip hurts.” He whispered. 

Alex squeezed his hand. “Gonna be ok?”

“Yeah.” Nicky said, pressing a kiss to Alex’s bare shoulder. 

“You want me to kiss it, make it better?” Alex offered, half playful. 

“No…” Nicky ducked his forehead and pressed it against Alex’s back. “I just...I wanted to tell you.” 

“Ok. Thank you.” Alex rolled over to look at him. Nicky managed a tired smile. Alex wasn’t sure if Nicky’s hip started hurting when he got exhausted at the end of the season, or if he got exhausted from constantly dealing with the pain. “You can skip optional, you know.”

“I know. Maybe. I don’t want to worry anyone.” It was such a Nicky-answer it made Alex chuckle. 

“I know, you worry about everyone. We can fib, tell them Felix needed you to stay home. Needed extra Papa time.” He said, settling a hand on Nicky’s side. 

“It might feel better in the morning.” Nicky hedged. “We’ll see.” 

In the morning, it wasn’t better. Nicky didn’t say anything, but Alex could read discomfort in the tenseness around his eyes, the tightness in his shoulders. “I can take Hanna to school, you snuggle Felix.” Alex offered. 

Nicky bit his lip, thinking for a long moment before nodding. “Thanks.” 

Alex dropped Hanna off at school and went to the rink for practice, arriving early. He took his time in the locker room, and by the time he was contemplating heading out to the ice Andre arrived. 

“Oh, you’re early. Where’s Nicky?” Andre asked. 

Alex grinned. “Felix was fussy, Nicky didn’t want to leave him.”

Andre’s eyebrows knit together with worry. “He’s not sick, is he?”

“No, no, just...babies get fussy, sometimes. Doesn’t want to sleep very long. Maybe a growth spurt.” It wasn’t a huge lie, because Felix was still eating multiple times overnight, but he wasn’t particularly fussy about it. 

“Ok. Good. I was thinking of coming to visit, would that be ok?” 

“Yeah, probably. Text Nicky after practice and make sure.”

“Should I bring chocolate?” Andre asked. Alex stilled, looking at him carefully. Nicky had a stash of chocolates he broke out when something troubled him. On the Nicky spectrum, chocolates lay somewhere between normal and sleeping-in-the-hammock troubled (though closer to normal than not). 

“Chocolates always good.” Alex said slowly. 

Andre nodded. “Ok.” 

Everyone else accepted Alex’s excuse at face value and practice was normal. Afterwards, Alex slipped away quietly and headed home. 

Nicky and Felix were propped up on the couch. Nicky had a heating pad over his hip, shirtless with Felix resting on his bare chest. His hair was unbrushed and he looked half-asleep. He smiled at Alex when he came into sight. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Alex kissed him. “You guys look busy.” He teased. 

Nicky gave him a lopsided grin. “Yeah, right?” He brushed his fingers over Felix’s hair. “Hard at work.”

“He’s getting big and strong.” Alex said fondly. “How’s your hip?”

Nicky shrugged. “It’s ok.”

“Nicky…”

“It feels a bit better. Still sore.”

“You talk to the trainers about it?”

“I haven’t...I already know what they’ll say.” Nicky worried at his lower lip. “Besides, it’s only for a couple more months.” 

“Still need you to feel good.” Alex combed his fingers through Nicky’s hair. “You don’t have to hurt.”

“It’s gonna hurt if I keep playing. And I’m going to keep playing.” There was a stubborn set to Nicky’s chin and Alex nodded. 

“I know, I know.” He said. “Burky said he was going to come over, bring you chocolate.” 

Nicky nodded, gesturing at his phone. “He texted me. Did you tell him…”

“No, just said you were with Felix, but he guessed.” 

Nicky’s phone buzzed and he glanced at it. “Can you hold him? I need a shirt.” 

Alex took their son, kissing his forehead and smiling when he opened his eyes. Nicky returned from their bedroom with a shirt in hand, limping slightly on the stairs. “Take something?” Alex suggested. 

Nicky nodded. “I just did.” He sat, settling back on the couch. He leaned against Alex’s side and pressed a kiss to Felix’s cheek. “Hi there.” He whispered, smiling when the baby blinked up at him. 

Felix’s eyes focused on Nicky and he smiled a gummy smile at him. Nicky’s smile widened and he looked up at Alex to confirm he saw it too. Alex squeezed Felix’s hand gently. “You love your papa, yeah? Give him lots of smiles?” 

Felix made a happy sound, jerking his arms and smiling at Alex. Nicky laughed, playing with Felix’s feet and giving Alex a delighted look. 

“Happy baby.” Alex said. “You wanna take a picture? First smile for baby book?” 

Nicky took a picture, giggling when Felix started to hiccup. “Too much excitement, huh?” He said softly. Alex laid a hand over his belly, trying to soothe him. Felix’s forehead wrinkled, concerned, as another hiccup shook his whole body. 

They were still enthralled with Felix, though he’d fallen asleep, when Andre arrived and let himself in. “I have KitKats.” He said, holding up a grocery bag. 

Nicky smiled at him. “Hey.”

“You ok?” Andre asked, shedding his coat and boots by the door before coming to sit beside Nicky. 

“Just needed a rest day.” He said, shrugging one shoulder. Andre gave him a worried look. “I’m ok,I promise.”

“Really promise?” He asked, holding the chocolate just out of reach. 

“Really promise. I’ll be fine.” Nicky assured him. 

“Papa…” Andre whined at him. 

Nicky sighed. “My hip is a little sore. Sasha thought I should rest it. Happy?”

“Not that your hip hurts, but yeah.” Andre said, handing him a candy bar. “You know I worry whether you tell me or not, right?”

“Like father like son.” Alex teased. “Here, Burky, you take baby. I need to change.” 

Andre handed the bag of chocolates to Nicky before happily accepting the baby. Alex lingered, watching as Andre cooed over him and Felix smiled up at him sleepily. Andre smiled back. “Oh, that’s new. I love it.” He grinned at Alex. “Almost as many teeth as you.” 

Alex rolled his eyes and Nicky laughed. “Brat.” He said fondly before going upstairs. He decided to take a shower too, taking his time. By the time he came back downstairs, Felix and Nicky were both asleep. Nicky was leaning against Andre, his chin ducked down to his chest, hair in his face, and snoring slightly. 

“Is he really ok?” Andre asked. 

Alex turned the TV on quietly. “I think he doesn’t sleep so good when he hurts.” He said. “Maybe can’t get comfy.” 

“Yeah.” Andre nodded. “You guys are really gonna retire, aren’t you?” 

“Everybody has to retire sometime.” He shrugged. 

“But like...this is your last season?”

“Probably.” Alex agreed. “Too old. Don’t want to get hurt, want to spend more time with family.” 

“I know.” Andre nodded. “I’ve just...I’ve never played here without Nicky.” He admitted. 

“Not gonna die, still gonna be here. Gonna go to games and everything.” Alex promised. “You can come visit Hanna and Felix whenever.” 

“It’ll just be different.” Andre said.

Nicky napped for half an hour before he stirred, grimacing as he stretched. “You ok?” Andre asked. 

“Uh huh.” Nicky nodded, closing his eyes. 

“Liar.” Andre said, but warmly. 

Nicky gave him an apologetic look. “Really, I-“

“I know.” Andre squeezed his hand. “You’re ok.” 

“I’m fine.” Nicky agreed. “I can play.” 

Nicky could play, but that didn’t mean he should. That didn’t mean it didn’t hurt or that he didn’t spend more and more time with the trainers after games. Fortunately, they had their bye-week at the end of February into March. 

It coincided with Hanna’s class field trip to the Smithsonian and Alex was excited to go- they'd missed the trip to the zoo and the national mall. 

“Is Felix coming too?” Hanna asked the night before, sitting on the edge of her bed. 

“Yeah. Is that ok?” Alex asked. 

“Yeah. He’s kinda cute, even though he’s a boy.” 

“Babies are always cute.” Alex said. 

“He’s not cute when he spits up.” She said. 

Nicky chuckled. “You used to do the same thing.”

“Nuh uh.” Hanna shook her head. “No way.”

Nicky nodded. “Yeah, you did. You threw up all over me. On Valentine’s Day.” 

Hanna giggled. “That’s gross.” 

“Oh, it was.” He said, grinning. “But it’s ok. It happens with babies.”

Hanna wrinkled her nose. “I don’t think I want a baby ever.” She decided. “Maybe just kittens.” 

Nicky nodded. “That would be good. I like kittens.”

Hanna’s eyes widened. “You do!?” She asked. “Then why can’t we have kittens?”

“Because we travel too much and cats don’t like that.” Nicky explained. “We want them to be happy, right?”

“I guess.” She agreed glumly. 

The field trip was a success, in that they didn’t lose any of the children. By the end of the day, Alex had Ellie on his shoulders and Hanna was dragging her feet. Nicky had worn Felix in his baby-carrier, as an excuse to take it easy but he still looked to be moving gingerly. Alex was glad they weren’t riding the school bus. 

Hanna fell asleep in the car and Felix stayed awake, making quiet contented noises to himself. Alex squeezed Nicky’s hand as he drove. “Good day?”

“Yeah.” Nicky grinned. “Next year we can do a lot of field trips.” He said. 

“True. Maybe only the good ones.” Alex joked. 

Nicky laughed quietly. “Well, eventually, she won’t want us to hang around.” He said. 

“Have to enjoy it while we can, yeah?” Alex smiled warmly at him. 

It turned out a week of sleep was exactly what Nicky (and Alex, if he was being honest) needed. He was bright-eyed and silly in the locker room, teasing Andre and Tom cheerfully. Afterwards, Alex returned to his stall from the shower to find that all his clothes had gone missing, replaced with a Backstrom jersey and nothing else. 

Alex raised his eyebrows at him, but Nicky was on the other side of the room, pretending not to notice him. Alex found some underwear in the back of his stall that Nicky must’ve missed when he’d cleaned it out. 

“That’s...a look.” John Carlson said, giving Alex a skeptical onceover. 

“Is it Nicky’s birthday already?” TJ teased. 

“Nicky thinks he’s funny.” Alex explained, smiling to himself. Nicky narrowed his eyes at him and Alex sauntered across the locker room, watching as Nicky couldn’t quite manage to look away. “You wanna give me my pants back? So I don’t get arrested?”

“Where’d you find underwear?” Nicky asked, looking him up and down slowly. 

“In my stall.”

“Huh.” Nicky nodded. “That’s too bad.” He said mildly, his ears giving him away by going pink at the tips. 

“Brat.” Alex said fondly. “Pants.”

Nicky raised his eyebrows. “What pants?”

“Fuck you, what pants.” Alex said, feigning exasperation. 

Nicky got up slowly. “Fine, fine. I’ll go get them.” He said, grinning at Alex over his shoulder. 

Alex followed, though he wasn’t quite sure why. They slipped out of the locker room without being noticed and Nicky led him to one of the rarely used equipment rooms. The door shut behind them and Nicky pressed Alex up against it, kissing him. Which, Alex was on board with that- who needed pants anyway?

Nicky kissed him deeply before dropping to his knees and pulling his boxer-briefs down. Alex tangled a hand in his hair and Nicky made an appreciative noise before he wrapped his lips around Alex’s cock, which was rapidly getting hard. 

“Fuck, Nicky.” Alex groaned. Nicky hummed, looking up at him with dark eyes. He pulled the blond locks that were twisted through his fingers and Nicky went with it easily. 

Nicky blew him until he came, swallowing around him before pulling off. His lips were red and a little swollen, his cheeks pink. His hair was a tangled mess and there was a dark wet spot on the front of his sweats. 

Alex hauled him to his feet, sandwiching him between the door and Alex’s body. “You’re such a brat.” Alex growled in his ear, feeling Nicky shiver. “So much trouble sometimes.” He teased. 

Nicky closed his eyes and let his head fall back as Alex shucked his shirt up and off. Alex bit his shoulder, leaving a red mark behind. Nicky’s hips bucked forward, grinding against Alex’s thigh.

Alex was half-inclined to let him try to cum like that, and the plan solidified with the idea of what Nicky would look like afterwards, even more wrecked than he was now. Alex pulled his hair hard and scratched his fingers down Nicky’s back. Nicky arched away from his touch, into Alex’s chest. His hands made to move towards his waistline and Alex stopped what he was doing to grab his wrists. 

“No.” Alex pinned his hands against the door. “I want you to cum like this.” Nicky nodded, panting. There was sweat beaded on his forehead, his hair stuck to his face. Alex paused. “Nicky?”

“Yeah?” Nicky said, voice raspy. He blinked up at Alex. 

“You want something different, you just have to say, ok?”

“No, I- I like it.” Nicky said quietly, voice hoarse. 

Alex kissed him, biting his lip sharply and Nicky whimpered into his mouth. It only took a few more minutes for Nicky to cum, with a quiet gasp, his body pitching forward. 

Alex held him up, stroking his hair back from his face and kissing him sweetly. “Where’s my clothes?” He asked between kisses. 

Nicky pointed and Alex found everything sitting in a neat pile in the corner. Alex dressed and Nicky stayed leaning against the door to catch his breath. Alex tossed him an extra pair of sweatpants and watched as Nicky wrinkled his nose as he pulled his sweats and underwear down, trying to clean himself up best he could. 

Nicky glanced at Alex thoughtfully for a moment before tugging on the pants with nothing underneath. Alex rolled his eyes and tossed Nicky a shirt. 

“My shirt’s ok.” Nicky said, still hoarse. 

“Just wear it.” Alex said. Alex liked the sight of Nicky wearing his number, his name. 

Nicky grumbled and put it on, slouching back against the door. “Ready?” As though Alex was the reason they were running behind. 

“Yeah, yeah. Hold on.” 

The locker room was empty, which was good fortune because Nicky looked wholly and completely debauched. Alex thought about telling him to go shower again but didn’t. Nicky dozed off in the car and Alex turned down the radio to let him sleep. 

Nicky perked up when Alex turned right instead of left. “Where’re we going?”

“Lunch.” Nicky straightened and started to protest. “Relax, only take-out. Can’t take you somewhere looking like this.” He teased. 

Nicky was blushing again when he slumped back in his seat. “Probably a good idea.”

“Yeah. You look like sex.”

“Yeah, well…”

“It’s a good look.” Alex assured him, smiling when Nicky grinned. 

“You too.”

Alex squeezed his hand tight. 

They got Chinese and returned home to eat, snow starting to fall. Nicky tapped his foot against Alex’s as they ate, smiling at him. It was too sweet and, while Alex didn’t quite dread the thought of returning to their normal schedule, he was looking forward to always having Nicky like this. Soon, they’d be back on the road and exhausted again. 

“What else you want to do today?” Alex asked. 

Nicky shrugged, looking at his phone. “Hanna might get a snow day.” He said, looking over the weather app. 

“That would be fun.” 

Nicky’s face scrunched up. “It’s just gonna be gross.” 

They cleaned up, fed Felix his bottle, and then the phone rang; the school was doing an early release. 

Alex looked at Nicky. “You stay here with Felix, I can go get Hanna.” He decided. 

“Are you-“

“I’m sure, I’m sure.” Alex promised; Nicky was still nervous about icy roads, and honestly so was Alex. 

Hanna was bubbling with excitement when she climbed into the car. “It’s really snowing!” She chattered as Alex buckled her car seat. “I wanna go sledding, and make a snow lady, and throw snowballs.” 

“Lots of plans.” Alex said. “You’re gonna need lots of snow.” There was some ice on the roads, but the heavy wet snow was barely covering the grass. 

“Do you get a snow day from hockey tomorrow too?”

“No, no, we won’t.” Alex didn’t tell her she probably wouldn’t have a snow day the next day either; it was March, the weather wasn’t predictable. 

“That sucks.” She said. 

Alex frowned in the rear view mirror at her. “That’s not a good word.” He chided. 

Hanna sighed. “Really? But…”

“No, not a good word.” He said. “You have to be a good example for Felix, yeah?”

“But he doesn’t even talk yet.” She protested. 

At home, Hanna quickly changed into her snowsuit, clomping through the house in her snow boots. “I’m gonna make a snow lady!” She declared. 

Nicky looked up. “Do you want help?” He asked. 

“Yeah.” She grinned at him. 

Nicky grabbed his coat and boots, following her into the backyard. Alex snuggled Felix on the couch, smiling when the baby smiled up at him with a wide grin. 

After a while, he bundled him up in blankets and a hat, grabbing his own winter gear and taking him out into the yard. Nicky and Hanna had an abandoned snowman in the middle of the yard and were throwing snowballs at each other. 

Alex scooped up a handful of snow and managed to hit Nicky square in the back. The blond turned and Hanna got him too. Nicky laughed and and scooped her up, peppering her with kisses. She giggled and tried to wriggle free. 

“Show Felix your snowman.” Nicky suggested. 

“It’s a snow lady.” Hanna corrected. 

“Of course.” Nicky agreed. “I’m sorry.” 

Felix didn’t care about snow, but he did smile when Hanna started talking to him. Alex pulled one of the baby’s tiny hands free from his bundle. “Here, let him touch some snow.” He said. 

Hanna scooped up some and touched it to his fingers. Felix’s hand jerked back and he made an unhappy sound. Alex rewrapped him, kissing his forehead. “It’s ok. Papa doesn’t like snow either.” He teased. 

“It’s cold and wet.” Nicky complained, still smiling. “Here, I’ll take him in. I think I need hot chocolate.” 

“Hot chocolate?” Hanna asked. 

“Yeah. Do you want some?” Nicky offered with a knowing smile. 

“Uh huh. With marshmallows?”

“Of course.” 

Hanna shifted from foot to foot. “Can we finish my snow lady first?”

Alex nodded. “I help you, then we go have hot chocolate.” 

They made a head for the snow lady and then came inside as Nicky was putting marshmallows on top of the hot chocolates. They sat beside the fireplace to warm up and enjoy them. “I think marshmallows are my favorite food.” Hanna decided. 

“Really?” Nicky asked. “Not something Sasha or Babu make?”

“Not meatballs?” Alex added. “Or Papa’s Christmas cookies?”

Hanna gave them both a put-upon look from over her mug. “I mean my favorite food from the store. Not favorite thing you make.”

“What’s your favorite homemade food?” Alex asked. 

“All of it!” Hanna declared happily, giggling. “All of the food is good. Except for the broccoli.”

“Just like your papa.” Alex teased. 

The next day, Hanna still had school (much to her displeasure) and Alex and Nicky had morning skate before a game that night. 

The next day, they left for a three game road trip. It was always hard to leave, it was especially hard to leave since Felix had become theirs. They couldn’t explain to him where they were going, he didn’t understand video calls, and he seemed to change every time they were gone. 

Nicky was determined to stay positive on the trip. He was playful in the locker room, keeping the mood light and cheerful amongst the team. 

Even when they barely won, finally getting it in the 5th round of a shootout, Nicky was the one bringing them back up. Just because Nicky didn’t seek out leadership didn’t mean the team wasn’t watching. They all looked to him and he knew it. 

Afterwards, though, in the privacy of their hotel room, he was quiet. “You ok?” Alex asked. 

“Yeah.”

“Everything ok?” 

Nicky pursed his lips. “My hip...well, you know.”

“I know. You’re doing good though. Good for the boys.”

Nicky grinned at him. “Thanks.” He looked thoughtful. “You ok?”

Alex shrugged. “Shoulder’s sore, knee’s sore.” He admitted, snuggling up alongside the blond. “Nothing serious.” 

“You’ll tell me if it gets worse?”

“Yeah. Will you?” Alex countered. 

Nicky turned pink. “There’s nothing-“

“Nicky.” 

“I’ll tell you.” He conceded. 

Alex kissed him. “Good.” 

It was nearly the end of the regular season. Nicky had been playing in the NHL 15 years and he’d never gotten into a fight, not until someone hit Christian Djoos a half-second too late. 

The Caps bench roared to life, first at the infraction and then at the altercation. Nicky wasn’t a practiced fighter, he wasn’t particularly skilled, but he was livid and his anger exploded from him like lava. 

Nicky already had an assist on the night and Alex was going to do everything in his power to get him a goal in the next two periods. 

During the intermission, he found Nicky icing his hands, his old broken finger swollen and stiff. “Hey, Mean Lars.” Alex said. 

Nicky looked up, grinning sheepishly. He had a bruise on his cheek and his eye looked a little puffy. “Hey.” 

“Never gonna win Lady Byng now.” Alex teased, sitting down beside him. “Djoos ok?”

“They’re still doing the concussion screening.” Nicky said, eyes glancing over to the closed door on the other side of the room. 

Alex presses a kiss to the side of Nicky’s head. “He’ll be ok.” He said uselessly. “You know, you don’t have to fight.” 

“I couldn’t- he- people can’t hit our boys like that.” Nicky said, cheeks flushing. Alex’s eyes softened; he wasn’t here to stir Nicky up more. 

“I know, I know. I mean, you don’t have to fight. Already broke finger once.”

“We won with it.” Nicky said quietly. 

“True.” Alex admitted. “Ok, things get worse, I get someone to break your finger.” He joked. 

Nicky smiled. “You won’t do it?”

Alex’s stomach tightened slightly; he couldn’t even joke about it. “You know I can’t...I can’t hurt you.” He could leave marks, he could pull hair, but to actually hurt Nicky…he couldn’t. He just couldn’t. He brushed Nicky’s hair back off his face, ghosting his fingers over his bruised cheek. 

Nicky leaned into the touch. “Yeah, I know.” He whispered, looking up at Alex through his lashes.

The moment was suddenly too soft, too intimate, and Alex needed to redirect it before his insides turned to goo and he forgot how to play hockey. “Told the boys we have to get you a goal. Get you a Gordie Howe hat trick.” 

Nicky laughed, nodding. “You better.” He said. “I’ve never had one.” 

It took them until the third period, on the power play, but Nicky got his goal off a pass from Alex. Alex crashed into him, pressing him into the boards. Nicky was laughing and Alex was too. 

Alex made sure to get the puck afterwards and he presented it to Nicky in the locker room while Tom played ‘We Will Rock You’ through the speakers.  
Nicky was trying to keep a straight face, but he wasn’t able to suppress the giggles. 

They’d won, Nicky’d gotten in his first ever fight, Christian was ok, and they were going home. Alex loved his team and his Nicky. He especially liked dragging Nicky into the spotlight a bit, making the blond squirm while Alex recited a list of Nicky’s accomplishments. 

“Tonight, we honored to present this puck to Mean Lars.” He began, trying to keep his tone serious. Nicky was still giggling. “Mean Lars got his 600th penalty minute tonight. He has more than 700 assist, 250 goals, but never get Gordie Howe hat trick until now.”

“Thank you-“

“Not done.” Alex said, pulling the puck back out of reach. “Nicky also Papa for the entire team and-“

Nicky pushed at him, laughing “stop, stop.”

Alex kissed him and handed him the puck. They posed for a few more pictures and then Nicky retreated to finish getting dressed. 

Alex gave him a bit of space, coming to find him after he’d showered. Nicky and Andre were both fussing over Christian, who was trying to escape their combined scrutiny. 

Alex mercifully decided to rescue him, coming up behind Nicky and wrapping him in a bear hug. “Be nice to Juicy.” He said, kissing Nicky’s cheek. 

“I’m ok.” Christian said, smiling but still taking the opportunity to slip away; Andre followed, tugging on his sleeve. 

Nicky sat with Alex on the plane, leaning against his shoulder. “I think we can do it this year.” Nicky said softly. They were locked in for the first round and they both knew how hard the playoffs were. Still, Alex was relieved to hear Nicky say it. 

“Yeah, let’s do it.” He said, as though it was really that simple. 

Hanna and Felix were at Alex’s parents and they decided to go to their house when they got back in town. They were quiet as they snuck in, but Tatiana was awake in the living room, rocking Felix in her arms. “Good morning.” She said, smiling at them. 

“Is he ok?” Nicky asked, brow furrowed. 

“Ok.” Tatiana said. “Hungry, I think.” She passed him to Alex. 

Felix opened his eyes halfway and snuggled down into Alex’s arms with a contented sigh. Tatiana smoothed down his hair. “He’s a good baby. Never cries.” 

“He might learn.” Nicky said, leaning over Alex’s shoulder to look at him. “Too little to cry.”

“Or maybe just knows he’s lucky.” Tatiana said with a smile. “Better than being in the NICU.” 

Alex heard Nicky swallow, ducking his head. The blond slipped away with a mumbled excuse about giving Hanna a kiss. 

Alex told his mom they could keep Felix in their room, but she shook her head. “Easier baby than you.” She teased gently. “You both need rest. Nicklas looks...tired.” 

Big day.” Alex had said back, passing her Felix. “First fight.” 

He found Nicky standing in the doorway to Hanna’s room. “Bed, ok?” He said, squeezing his hand. “Can’t wake her up.” Nicky nodded. 

Nicky did look tired though, Alex thought as he led him to the guest room. It hadn’t been his house in five years, but it was still strange to be in the guest room. Nicky curled up in bed. “Felix is ok, just a happy baby.” Alex said. 

“What if...I don’t know. He doesn’t cry much. Do you think...do you think the NICU was scary for him?”

“Don’t think he remembers.” Alex said, hoping it was true, hoping it wasn’t even remotely possible. He’d often wondered if the early tragedy in his life would leave a lingering impression over him. 

“I just...Hanna was upset when she found out she was adopted. We- we have to tell Felix sometime. About his mom, and his brother...the family that wouldn’t adopt him.” Nicky’s voice wavered. “What are we supposed to say?”

“Say we love him so much, that’s most important.” Alex said, hugging Nicky close. The blond buried his face against Alex’s chest. “Tell him how lucky we are to love him.”

Nicky gripped him even tighter. “Ok.”

“We have some time.” Alex said. “Not asking too many questions yet.” He joked, with tears in his eyes. 

Nicky giggled, looking up at him with shining eyes. “True.” He stretched to press a kiss to Alex’s lips. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” 

In the morning, they woke up to Hanna crawling into bed between them. “Hey, papa?” She asked, not even trying to whisper. 

“Yeah?” Nicky managed, half asleep. 

“Did you get in a fight?”

Nicky blinked up at her. “Yeah. I did.”

“Oh.” She pauses for a moment. “Did you win?”

Nicky grabbed her and reeled her in to his chest, hugging her tight while she giggled and tried to squirm away. “Silly.” He said, avoiding answering. 

“Why did you fight?” 

“Because...because he hurt my teammate and it made me mad.” 

“Is Juice ok?” 

“He’s ok. He got a bruise.”

Hanna wrinkled her nose. “Worse than you?” She said, poking his face where the bruise had grown darker. Nicky winced and she dropped her hand. “Sorry.”

“Nicky try to stand up for Juice, make sure no one hurts him on purpose.” Alex explained. 

“I had to do five minutes.” Nicky added. 

“That’s a long time.” 

“Yeah.” Nicky agreed, snuggling her close. 

“Papa?”

“Yeah?” 

“I hafta go to school.” 

They drove Hanna to school and took Felix home. Nicky settled on the couch with the heating pad, dozing off after a few minutes. Alex sat down next to him, feeding Felix his bottle and feeling relieved to finally be home. 

The first round of the playoffs went well. They won in 5 games and had several days to recover. No amount of hot showers and hot tubs could make Alex feel 100% at this point in the season, but he tried anyway. 

In the second round Nicky blocked a shot off the outside of his skate; Alex could hear him swearing from halfway across the ice, but he still managed to clear the puck and limp to the bench. 

“You ok?” Alex asked. 

“Fuck!” Nicky grabbed his arm tight. “Shit-“ he trailed off briefly into Swedish, something Alex didn’t recognize but that made Andre’s head jerk up in surprise. “I think I broke my fucking foot.” Nicky said, leaning his head against the boards. “Shit.”

Nicky stubbornly refused to go to the trainers. “They’re not going to do anything.” He said, after the period ended and he could speak without profanity. “If I take my skate off...I don’t think I can put it back on.” He admitted. 

Alex nodded. People played with broken bones in their feet. It was probably easier than playing with a broken hand, at least. The skate was supportive, like a brace. He was worried, but Nicky didn’t need to know that yet. “Maybe you need to drink more milk, make your bones stronger.” Alex teased. 

Nicky glared at him. “Fuck you.” He muttered. 

Alex rolled his eyes. “You wish.” He looked Nicky over. “Don’t break other foot, ok?”

“I’ll try.” Nicky promised, grimacing. 

They won. 

In the locker room, a couple guys were lingering around Nicky’s stall like Alex was, waiting to see the damage done. Nicky was in enough pain that he didn’t pay attention to them. Alex held his breath as the blond slowly peeled off his sock, exposing his foot. 

It was badly bruised just passed his ankle bone. He wiggled his toes tentatively, wincing as he did. It was already a little swollen; Alex wasn’t sure he’d be able to get his shoe back on. 

“You break finger, we win the cup.” Alex said. “Maybe it’s good luck.”

Nicky gave him a lopsided smile, laughing. “Hopefully.” He said. “Help me up.” He held out a hand. 

Nicky limped to the showers and afterwards hobbled to the medical office. 

It was broken, though not badly, they assured Alex. As though there was a good way Nicky could break his foot. 

“I’m not missing a game.” Nicky said. “It’s fine.”

“If you can get your skate on.” The trainer said, glancing at his foot skeptically. 

At the hotel, Nicky frowned at the bottle of painkillers he’d been given until Alex tossed a bottle of water to him. “Take, you need to sleep.”

Nicky shrugged. “S’not going to fix my foot.” 

Alex rolled his eyes. “Not gonna make it worse.” He settled down on the bed beside Nicky. “You take medicine, I won’t even take videos of you stoned.” He promised. 

Nicky smiled, shaking his head ruefully. “Somehow, I doubt that.” He turned the bottle over in his hands again. “I don’t like how it feels...it makes me…”

“Makes you even more sweet.” Alex teased. 

“Makes me feel weird.” Nicky said. It made him vulnerable and vulnerable wasn’t something Nicky did, except with Alex. Being vulnerable in front of even just Alex had taken a long time. 

“I won’t let anyone bother you. You take pills, we watch some TV and sleep extra late.”

Nicky’s teeth dented his lower lip. “No optional?”

Alex shrugged. “More important to rest.” 

Nicky looked him over carefully. “Is your knee ok?”

“It’s ok, it’s just old.” Alex laughed. “It needs to sleep.” 

Nicky smiled, twisting the lid open and plucking a pill from inside. He stared at it a long moment before swallowing it down and getting up to put on his pajamas. Alex followed suit, arranging the pillows on the bed to comfortably prop him up and starting to scroll through channels. Hotel TV was never good, and he settled on HGTV. 

Nicky gave him a skeptical look. “House Hunters? Really?”

Alex shrugged and patted the spot beside him. “Funny. People never agree on anything. Don’t know how they get married.” 

Nicky hummed and snuggled in beside him, resting his head on Alex’s chest. Nicky was broad and muscled, but he was also down weight at the end of the season like this. 

Halfway through the show, Nicky started giggling. 

“What’s funny?” Alex asked. 

Nicky grinned up at him. “They literally...they literally want opposite houses.” 

“You and me like different things.” Alex pointed out. “Just never buy a house together, yet.”

Nicky’s mouth hung open slightly, blinking. Alex could almost see the gears turning, and he should clarify, but- “Do you not like our house?” 

Alex snorted; that’s what Nicky took away from that? He had to give him at least a bit of a hard time. “It’s ok, just boring. Brick, two story.” He smiled. “Doesn’t even have a pool.”

Nicky looked like he couldn’t quite process the teasing. “I- you-“

Alex kissed him, stroking a hand through his hair. “I like our house.” He assured him. Alex probably would’ve passed over the traditional style house a million times, except Nicky had turned it into such a cozy place that Alex hated to leave. It was their family home, it was Hanna and Felix’s home. “It’s perfect.”

“Yeah?” 

“Of course.” Alex assured him, petting his hair again and feeling guilty for confusing him. 

Nicky nodded, eyes glassy. “I hated it, when I bought it.” He admitted, half-whispered. “It was so empty.” 

Alex hugged him tight, kissing his forehead. “Not empty now.” 

“Yeah.” Nicky nodded. Then, he giggled again. “That bathroom’s so ugly.” 

Alex wanted to tease him, but the bathroom was truly hideous. “Why even make orange tile?” He asked, horrified. 

Nicky hid his face against Alex’s chest. “Please don’t video me.” He muttered. 

“Ok.” Alex agreed easily. 

Nicky fell asleep not long after, staying awake just long enough for the couple on the show to select a different house. “Thank god.” He said, eyes slipping closed as he fell asleep. 

Alex stayed up a bit later, playing on his phone while Nicky drooled on his chest. 

In the morning, he woke up with the Swede tucked in close, one hand slipped into the waistband of Alex’s pants. When Alex moved, Nicky’s grip tightened on his ass. 

Alex wanted breakfast and he didn’t particularly want to drag Nicky downstairs to get it. Stretching, he reached the room service menu and his phone. 

Nicky didn’t wake up until Alex had to get up to bring the food in. When he returned, the blond was blinking up at him in a daze. “You got food?” 

“Breakfast in bed.” Alex smiled. He plucked a strawberry from the fruit bowl (that he’d specifically requested no raspberries in, because he wasn’t risking it) and offered it to Nicky. After Nicky ate it, he smiled. “Ok. Now medicine.”

“It’s not that bad.”

“Let me see.” 

Grumbling, Nicky pulled back the covers and Alex could see how bruised it was even before Nicky finished tugging his sock down. “Just bruised.” 

Alex shook his head. “Need to rest it, not gonna be able to play unless the swelling goes down.” He advised. 

Nicky grimaced, shrugging. “Maybe I can find another skate, a half size bigger?” He suggested. 

Alex rolled his eyes and fed him another strawberry. “Maybe you take care of it, sit out one game?” He suggested. 

“Would you?” Nicky asked, sitting up slowly and grabbing his bottle of pills. 

Alex shook his head. “Probably not.”

“S’what I thought.” Nicky swallowed his pill. “It’s really not that bad.”

Later, Alex coaxed Nicky into taking a bath with some of the fancy bath salts left in their bathroom. He sat beside the tub, playing with his hair and making sure Nicky didn’t fall asleep and drown himself in the bath. 

It took a fair amount of ice, ibuprofen, and swearing, but Nicky got his skate on for the next game. “You sure?” Alex asked, watching him bite his lip and close his eyes against the pain. 

Nicky shrugged. “It’s...Maybe you’re right. Maybe it’s good luck.” 

“Won’t drop the cup this time, at least.” Alex teased. 

Nicky smiled at him, relieved. Alex didn’t want to have the argument anymore than Nicky did and besides, he didn’t have much of a leg to stand on with the way his knee creaked and went stiff and swollen after games. “9 more.” Nicky said quietly. 

They won the second round. Nicky’s broken foot was on the same side as his bad hip. He spent the plane ride home with his leg propped up across the aisle at the front of the plane, leaning against Alex. Nicky had taken his medicine and was all but melting in Alex’s arms. 

Alex hated to see Nicky hurt, of course, but he always had a soft spot for drugged-on-painkillers Nicky. Alex played on his phone and carded his fingers through Nicky’s hair as he did. Nicky fell asleep like that, snoring softly. Alex kissed the side of his head, pulling his blanket up over him a bit more. 

Even keeping his foot elevated didn’t stop it from swelling from the pressure changes in the cabin. Fortunately, they’d foreseen this being a problem and Nicky had his slide-on sandals from the locker room instead of real shoes; and even then he still had to adjust the Velcro. 

In between all of the stress that the playoffs brought, they still had normal family stuff to attend to. They had to take Hanna and Felix to the doctor for shots and check-ups. Hanna bit her lip. “But I don’t like shots.” She said, frowning. 

“I know, no one does.” Nicky agreed. “But it keeps you from getting really sick.” 

“Felix has to get shots too.” Alex added. “You gonna be brave for him?”

“Do I get m&ms?” Hanna asked; they’d found that frozen baggies of m&ms made perfect (delicious) ice packs. 

“Yeah.” Nicky said.

“Can I have Felix’s m&ms too?” She looked optimistic. 

Alex laughed. “No, that’s too many m&ms.” He teased. 

Hanna screwed up her face when she got her shot, but didn’t cry. The doctor smiled at her. “Do you want to help your brother get his now?” She asked. 

Hanna nodded. “Yeah!” 

Alex sat beside her while Hanna held Felix. Felix cried when he got his shots, squirming a bit. Hanna kissed the top of his head. “It’s ok, Felix.” She cooed. “When you get teeth, you can have m&ms.” Nicky bit his lip to keep from laughing and Alex couldn’t hide a smile. 

Felix ended up crying hard enough he gave himself the hiccups. Alex scooped him up, rubbing his back. “It’s ok, it’s ok. All done.” He murmured. Felix calmed down eventually, fussing slightly when he was handed to the doctor. 

The doctor assured them that Felix was growing at a good rate. He was still little, of course. He weighed 6lbs and was developing normally. “He’ll be delayed for a while.” The doctor explained. “But he should catch up just fine.”

Hanna’s birthday also fell during the postseason. They had something simple at the house over the weekend, but they’d been gone for her actual birthday. Alex’s parents made sure her day was special though, and Hanna helped Tatiana bake a cake. 

Nicky couldn’t hide the fact that he was limping. They’d rented a bounce house for the party and Nicky stayed on the patio with Felix while Alex played with the kids. 

Alex returned eventually, worn out. “They have so much energy.” He said, sitting down next to Nicky. “Burky, your turn.”

Andre laughed and squeezed Nicky’s shoulder before going to join the fray. 

“We have a 6 year old.” Nicky said, looking at Alex. 

“Yeah. Crazy, right? She grew up too fast.”

“I know.” Nicky nodded. “She was this big when she was born.” He said, tapping Felix gently.

“I know. Thought she was so little. Littlest baby I’d ever seen.” 

Nicky smiled. “Yeah. Me too. Until he was born, I mean.” 

Alex held Nicky’s hand. “What...why did you adopt her all alone?” He asked. He’d asked before, of course, and Nicky always gave a slightly different answer, variations on a theme. 

Nicky shrugged. “I...I’ve always wanted kids.” He said slowly. “And…I didn’t think I was ever going to find someone, so...I decided I could do it myself.” 

“You didn’t have a plan?” Alex asked. Alex had always assumed Nicky had a plan, because Nicky usually did. Nicky thought before he spoke, Nicky cleaned the snow off the puck before passing it; Nicky always had a plan. 

“I didn’t have a plan.” Nicky admitted, grinning. “Crazy, right?” 

Alex laughed, kissing him on the cheek. “All of this because you didn’t plan for once.” He said, gesturing vaguely at the yard full of kids and teammates, friends and family. 

Nicky nodded. “It turned out alright.” He said, giving Alex a sly grin. 

After everyone left, Hanna diligently set about showing her birthday presents to Felix, who laid on a blanket on the floor staring at her like she’d hung the moon. 

Hanna wiped drool off the corner of his mouth with the blanket. “This is a baby doll.” She explained. “She’s bigger than you. Maybe you guys can be friends.” 

Felix smiled up at her, kicking his feet as he tried to roll over. Content as he was, he didn’t like tummy time all that much. 

Hanna grinned back at him and stretched out on her stomach in front of him, slipping her fingers into his hands. He squeezed her fingers tight, wiggling again. 

Alex looked over at Nicky to make sure he was watching. Nicky had his phone in hand, taking a video. 

“I think you’re cuter than the baby doll.” Hanna decided. “She doesn’t have any hair.” 

Hanna leaned forward and blew a raspberry against Felix’s neck. He gave a happy shriek and then laughed. 

Hanna looked up at her parents with a big smile. “He laughed! Did you hear him? He laughed!” 

Alex laughed too. “He did! He loves you a lot.” He moved to sit on the floor with them, picking Felix up. “You think your sister is funny?” He asked, kissing his cheek. 

Hanna stuck her tongue out at him and made a face, crossing her eyes. Felix laughed harder, kicking his feet, and then hiccuping. 

Alex snuggled him. “You laugh too hard, give yourself hiccups, huh?” He said between kisses. “Silly baby.” 

Hanna had loved Felix since they brought him home, but she was enthralled now that he was starting to interact with her. Alex’s background on his phone was a picture of Hanna holding Felix and feeding him his bottle on the couch. 

“Who’s jersey is Felix gonna wear for games?” Hanna asked. “Can I pick for him?”

“Maybe we get him one with my name and Papa’s number, like we got for you.” Alex suggested. 

Hanna nodded. “That would be good. Then we would match!” 

Felix’s first game was game 6 of the third round, a home game, when they won in overtime and were going to advance to the Stanley Cup finals. 

Hanna understood, mostly, what a big deal the game was. She threw herself into Alex’s arms when he came into sight, hugging him tight. “You did it!” She cheered. “Daddy, you won!” 

“We did! We had good luck charms.”

“Me an’ Felix?”

Alex kissed her. “Of course, you and Felix!” He laughed. “You want to see the trophy?”

With a little help from Nicky and Alex, Hanna lifted the Prince Of Wales Trophy. Afterwards, they propped Felix up in at as well, for a family picture. 

The excitement in the locker room was contagious, but Felix was immune. He fell asleep against Alex’s chest, leaving a wet drool mark. Alex was supposed to do media, so he grabbed Felix’s blanket and wrapped him up best he could. 

Felix woke up to the sound of Alex talking, smiling up at him and making quiet cooing sounds. “Felix says the boys did good tonight.” Alex said, grinning. “He didn’t see all the game, had to nap, but he thinks it was good. His Papa played really good, always makes us happy.” 

Afterwards, he caught Nicky watching him fondly. “Felix did his first interview?” Nicky asked softly. 

Alex chuckled. “Yeah.”

“Rookies keep getting younger.” Nicky said, laughing. Alex handed Felix to him so he could change. Across the room, Tom had picked Hanna up and was hanging her upside down while she laughed with delight. 

“She’s gonna sleep good tonight.” Alex said. 

“Probably fall asleep in the car.” Nicky agreed. 

“You wanna go out?” Alex asked. 

Nicky shrugged. “Not really.” He admitted quietly. 

“Young guys, they probably go out. Can see if anyone wants to come over.” Alex suggested, pulling on a shirt. 

Nicky gave a relieved grin. “That would be good.”

TJ and Lauren brought the girls, John and Gina brought their kids, and Tom, Andre, and Evgeny came by after leaving the bars early. The kids had all insisted they wanted to stay up late, but Lyla was the only one who made it through the first 20 minutes of the movie they’d picked out. 

TJ came upstairs from checking on the kids with a grin on his face. “It looks like the aftermath of a college party.” He snickered. “They’re all asleep now and there’s pillows and blankets everywhere.” He showed them a dimly lit picture he’d taken, children scattered on the floor and couches asleep. 

“Oh, cute.” Alex laughed. “Send me that. Love it.”

“You guys missed the old people?” TJ asked Tom, grinning. 

“It was too loud.” Tom admitted. “I think I’m getting old.” 

Nicky snorted. “It happens.” 

“The rookies were all dancing and stuff...I don’t think Melissa would be happy with me doing that.” Tom laughed. 

“Is she in town?” Nicky asked. “You could invite her here.”

“No, she’s not. She’s in Montreal, actually.” Tom’s girlfriend Melissa traveled often for work. 

“Here, hold Felix.” Nicky said. Tom took the baby and Nicky got up, limping a bit as he headed to the kitchen. 

“I could’ve gotten you something.” Andre offered, trailing after him. “I’m already up.”

Nicky rolled his eyes. “I’m fine.” He promised. 

“Your foot is broken!” Andre sputtered. 

“Only a little. It’s fine.” 

Andre grumbled under his breath. 

“Is lucky for Nicky to break something.” Alex teased. “Breaks finger, we win the cup. Breaks foot, we’ll see.”

TJ laughed. “Oh yeah, that’s true. Thanks for the sacrifice, Nick.”

Nicky sat down beside Alex, Andre squeezing in on his other side. “You’re welcome.” He said, biting back a smile. “It’s actually a lot better than my finger.”

“Other than you can’t walk.” Alex teased.

“And you limp like an old man.” Evgeny piped up. 

“And you can't wear shoes after games.” Andre added. “But yeah, it’s fine.” He rolled his eyes. 

Nicky took the teasing in stride, giggling. Of course that may’ve had something to do with the beer he was sipping on and the pain medicine he’d taken earlier. “Maybe I just don’t like shoes anymore.” 

“Uh huh.” Andre said disbelievingly. “That’s it.”

Alex smiled when Nicky snuggled in against him. Nicky was doing his best, but Alex could read him better than anyone; Nicky was definitely feeling the affects of his medicine and his one beer. 

It was only a few of their close friends though, and Nicky felt safe with them. Eventually, he laid his head in Alex’s lap, dozing in and out of the conversation as Alex played with his hair. 

They stayed up late, talking and laughing, until John and TJ gently carried their sleeping kids out to the cars and everyone headed home. Everyone except Andre. 

“S’ok if I stay here?” He asked. He’d helped get everyone to their cars, and he was holding a half-asleep Hanna, her face pressed against his chest. 

“Guest room all you.” Alex agreed. He left Hanna to Andre and went to wake Nicky from where he was still sprawled on the couch. 

In the morning, Alex walked downstairs with Felix to find Andre and Hanna snuggled up on the couch watching cartoons. Andre gave him a sleepy grin. “Hey.” 

“You sleep ok?” Alex asked. 

“Yeah, mostly. Maybe not long enough.” He yawned. 

“Come help make pancakes.” Alex said. “Felix wants breakfast too.” Andre eagerly fed him his bottle while Alex made pancakes. 

Eventually, the smell of bacon and pancakes permeated the house, but Nicky was still asleep. 

“I’ll go get him.” Andre said. 

“Be careful.” Hanna said, with a mouth full of pancake. “He’s a bear.” 

Nicky was walking gingerly, looking groggy still. He gave Alex a small smile, accepting the plate he set down in front of him. 

“Morning.” Nicky said, rubbing his eyes. 

“You sleep long enough?” 

“Funny.” Nicky said, frowning down at his plate. 

TJ texted Alex and asked if Hanna wanted to go to the zoo with them. Alex, Nicky, and Felix were invited too, he quickly added, but he figured Nicky wouldn’t want to chase kids all around the zoo with a broken foot. 

“You want to go to zoo with Leni and Lyla?” Alex asked, glancing up from his phone. 

Hanna turned her best puppy dog eyes on Nicky. “Please can I go? Please?”

“Yeah, sure.” Nicky shrugged, smiling. 

They cleaned up after breakfast, Andre left to go to his apartment, and Hanna went to find clothes for the zoo. Nicky curled up on the couch, closing his eyes. 

“You ok?” Alex asked. 

“So tired.” Nicky admitted. 

“You sleep ok last night?”

“Not really...couldn’t fall back to sleep after I fed Felix.” He admitted. 

“Because of your foot?” Alex guessed. 

“Yeah, I guess.” Nicky closed his eyes. “It just...it hurts.” 

“Take medicine, ok?” 

“I know.”

“Four more.” Alex said, squeezing his calf.

“Four more.” Nicky repeated. 

That night, Hanna came home from the zoo excited to tell them all about the animals she’d seen. “When can we take Felix?”

“When Papa’s foot feels better.” Alex explained. “Like when you broke your arm, remember?”

She nodded. “How come he doesn’t have a cast then?”

“Feet don’t need casts like arms.” Alex said, shrugging. “Doctor told him to rest it, be gentle with it.”

Hanna cocked her head. “Playing hockey isn’t very gentle.” She said slowly. 

Nicky smiled warmly at her. “It’s not that bad.” He promised her. “It doesn’t hurt as much as your arm did.” 

The final series went to game 7. It was at home. Nicky’s family was in town, Alex’s brother was too. They’d clawed their way back to win the last game. 

Alex tried to take comfort in the fact that even if they lost, they were at home. They wouldn’t have to fly home in defeat and he’d have his family around him, he’d have Hanna and Felix. 

The game went to overtime. Alex didn’t know what he was supposed to say to the team. What could he say, with all the pressure that was on them? They were playing so well, but he could tell the enormity of this opportunity was weighing on them and he didn’t know what to say to ease them. 

The locker room was quiet when Nicky stood up and started to speak slowly. “You guys have done really good all season. This is a good group. Tonight, you’ve done so great and I think...I think we can do it.” He paused for a moment and gave a mischievous grin. “I didn’t break my foot so we could lose.” He added wryly. 

Alex dropped his head, laughing. He could feel the tension ebbing out of the room. Everyone loosened up, smiling and joking with each other. Nicky nudged him before they headed out to the ice. “You have to say it.” He said softly. 

Alex grinned. “Hey, Nicky. We gonna score tonight?” He asked. 

Nicky smiled at him broadly, dimples in his cheeks. “Yeah, why not?” He said. 

On an impulse, Alex leaned in and kissed him. “Whatever happens, it’s gonna be ok, yeah?” He said, not sure if he was asking or telling. 

“Yeah.” Nicky agreed. “We got this.”

“You and me.”

“You and me.” He repeated, his voice a bit rough with emotion, eyes gleaming with it. 

Alex was on the bench while Nicky was getting ready to take the face off. Nicky looked over his shoulder and grinned at Alex before turning his attention back to the ref. 

Nicky won that faceoff. They gained the zone. 

Alex held his breath, clutching his stick tight in his hands. 

Nicky could hold onto the puck better than anyone else, but that didn’t mean Alex could relax. Sometimes, it meant the opposite; meant Alex couldn’t draw his eyes away from him. 

The other team had players clustered in the middle of the ice and somehow, someway, Nicky flicked the puck through a pair of them and straight onto John’s blade. John snapped it into the back of the net. 

Lights flashed, the horn sounded, the crowd erupted. Just like that, it was over. Just like that, they’d won the Cup. 

Alex hurtled over the boards and joined the mass of screaming players on the ice. He hugged his goalie, he hugged John, and then he grabbed Nicky and decided he was never, ever letting go. 

“Nicky! Nicky, that pass! That fucking pass!” He yelled, shaking him by the shoulders. Last time, he’d remembered thinking that nothing would ever be as sweet as winning the Cup the first time. 

Now, he knew he was wrong; this was better, this was sweeter. Nicky was his, he was Nicky’s, and they’d done so much together, were going to do so much more together and they’d done this again. This was every bit as perfect as the last time, with even more, because Hanna was watching and she’d remember this moment, watching her parents with her little brother. 

Nicky was laughing, wrapping his arms around Alex. Nicky might’ve been crying too, or maybe that was Alex. Fuck, it was such a relief for it to be over. 

Last time, there had been no question who Alex was passing the cup to first. This time there wasn’t either. 

“It has to be Nick.” John said loudly in his ear. “You have to- Ovi, that pass, you have to give it to Nick first.”

“You sure?” He asked. 

“Fuck, yeah, I’m sure.” He laughed. 

Alex passed Nicky the cup and kissed him just like he’d wanted to last time. Now he could. Now he had everything. 

Nicky did his lap with the puck and passed it to John. “I’m not kissing you, but I probably should.” Alex heard John tease. “Nicky-“

“Go, go.” Nicky laughed, shoving him along gently. 

Alex reeled Nicky into a hug. “Never letting go.” He told him. 

Nicky was still laughing. “Ok.” He agreed. “I like that.” 

Hanna darted out of her grandparents grasp as soon as they got to the ice and ran across the rink to her parents. Alex scooped her up and kissed her cheeks. Hanna hugged him tight before he passed her to Nicky. Nicky wrapped her up in his arms and buried his face in her hair. 

“Papa, you’re squishing me!” She protested, giggling. 

Alex never wanted the celebration to end. He had Felix in his arms, Nicky by his side, and Hanna scampering around nearby reveling in the excitement. He had his friends and his family. 

Felix looked surprised when he was placed in the cup, but he quickly laughed when Hanna kissed his cheeks. He squirmed and wiggled, leaving drooly fingerprints inside the bowl. 

They got a picture of Felix biting the edge of the cup; he’d just started teething that week. 

Alex couldn’t stop laughing. He’d only had a bit of champagne, but he felt drunk already. There was a ceremony, there were endless pictures.

Eventually, they headed to the locker room to change. Tatiana assured them that they’d take the kids home with them. “Go have fun.” She said. “But not too much. Hangovers with kids are much worse.” She promised. 

Alex hugged her and kissed Hanna and Felix goodbye. 

They let themselves be drug along to a club. Nicky was wearing Alex’s shirt and he hadn’t been able to tie his shoe on his broken foot. His hair was a tangled mess, barely covered by a hat. He was laughing, still, and Alex thought about dragging him into the bathroom and having his way with him. 

Nicky leaned into his side, tilting his head up to kiss his check. At the last second, Alex turned his head and ensnared him in a kiss. Nicky made a soft surprised noise and kissed back, leaning into him. 

“Yeah, so, like I was saying.” Tom said loudly, clearing his throat. Nicky dropped his head to Alex’s shoulder, snickering. 

“Sorry.” He said, trying to keep a straight face. 

“I’m not.” Alex chirped, grinning when Nicky started to laugh again. Tom rolled his eyes at them fondly. 

Eventually, they were all drunk, beyond drunk really, and someone suggested they go get food. Nicky immediately perked up. “I want pizza.”

“You want garlic bread.” Andre teased. 

Nicky shrugged. “I can want both.” He said. 

There was a pizza place a couple blocks away and they absolutely weren’t going to call a cab for such a short distance, but Nicky was still limping, even with alcohol. 

“Oh man, this is too pitiful.” Tom said, after half a block. “Let me, like, give you a piggyback ride.”

Nicky scrunched up his face, shaking his head. “No, it’s ok.”

“C’mon…” Tom said. “I won’t even drop you.”

“No running?” Nicky asked, chewing at his lip. 

“No running.” Tom promised solemnly. 

Which is, of course, how Alex ended up with a shaky video on his phone of Tom taking off at a sprint with Nicky laughing and clinging to his back. Nicky lost his hat along the way. 

When everyone caught up, Nicky snagged his hat from Andre’s head and sidled up alongside Alex, sitting too close to him in the worn booth of the pizza parlor. 

Nicky leaned his head on Alex’s shoulder, eyes heavy. Someone (maybe Tom) got another round of beers and Alex figured there was nothing that was going to make his impending hangover worse at this point, so why not. 

The sun was rising when they decided they should go home. Alex called a cab and Nicky snagged Andre by the wrist. “Stay at our house.” He offered quietly. 

“Ok.” Andre agreed. 

Nicky fell asleep in the middle seat almost immediately, leaning against Andre’s shoulder. Andre exchanged a sleepy smile with Alex over the blond’s head. 

“I’m really glad...I’m really glad you an’ Nicky got together.” Andre said. 

“Yeah?” Alex asked. 

“Yeah. He’s...he’s so happy with you.” 

“He makes me happy too.” Alex said, lacing his fingers through Nicky’s. 

Andre grinned at him. “Good.”

At home, Nicky sleepily insisted they needed Gatorade. “Still gonna be hungover, but maybe not so bad.” He said, a little more mumbly than usual. He had his foot propped up on the coffee table, leaning against the arm of the couch. 

Andre giggled. “You sound so drunk.”

Nicky rolled his eyes. “Drink your Gatorade.” He said, nudging him with his other foot. 

Alex laughed, closing his eyes as he waited for Nicky to finish his drink so they could go to bed. 

Next thing he knew, it was morning. 

His head pounded and he woke up still feeling exhausted, body stiff. Sometime in the night, he’d curled up on the arm of the couch. Something warm was in his lap- Nicky’s head. Andre had arm wrapped around Nicky’s waist, curled up with him. 

Nicky blinked awake as Alex started to move, smiling at him sleepily. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

“I think I’m still drunk.” Nicky whispered, rubbing at his face. “Can you be drunk and hungover at the same time?” 

“Never drinking again.” Alex decided, frowning. 

Nicky giggled, closing his eyes. “S’not true.”

“I know. Can’t think about it yet.” He admitted. 

“Last time…”

“I know, I know. Old now, remember?”

“You guys are so loud.” Andre whined, trying to cover his face. “Shhh.”

Nicky kept laughing, eyes closed. He hugged Andre closer. “Good morning.”

“How is this the only time you’re a morning person?” Andre complained, sitting up. His hair was sticking out in all directions. 

“Still drunk.” Alex explained. 

Andre groaned. “Lightweight.” He teased. 

Nicky smiled. “Like you can talk.” He said. “I want waffles.” He decided. 

Andre scrolled through his texts over breakfast, showing Alex and Nicky pictures some of the rookies had sent him. John sent out a mass text that they would be having a BBQ at their house and everyone was invited. 

The BBQ was a much more laid back gathering than they’d had the night before, but it was a good excuse to grill and have everyone close. The kids ran wild in the backyard and even the rookies didn’t have the energy to try to keep up with them. 

Felix, for the first time, was not content. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen him cry.” Gina said, rocking him. “Is he teething?” 

“Yeah, see?” There was a little pale nub in his gum. Felix latched on to Alex’s finger and gnawed at it. “Not very happy.”

“Poor baby.” Gina said. “You know, I bet we still have some teethers in the freezer, let me go check.” She passed the baby back to Alex. 

Felix pressed his face to Alex’s chest, whimpering softly. “I know, doesn’t feel good.” Alex commiserate, sitting on the porch swing next to Nicky. 

Nicky stroked his finger of Felix’s hair. “I’m sorry, alskling.” He whispered. He looked at Alex. “There’s medicine in the diaper bag.” 

“I go get, here, you hold him.” Alex said. 

When he returned, Felix has his eyes closed, his hand gripping the teething ring Gina had returned with as Nicky supported it for him. 

Felix sputtered unhappily when they gave him the medicine, his face red and wrinkled. “I'm sorry.” Nicky murmured, stroking his cheek. “It’s ok. We had to take medicine today too.” 

Alex snorted, pressing a kiss to the side of Nicky’s head, hair tickling his nose. Nicky grinned at him, bags under his eyes and squinting a little bit even in the shade. 

“So...you’re really ok not playing next year?” Nicky asked, pitching his voice so as not to be heard. 

“Yeah. Ready now.” Alex said. “Not gonna be better than this, next year. Can’t keep playing without fucking up my knee.” He raised his eyebrows. “You ok?” He asked.

Nicky nodded. “I- yeah. I love it, obviously, I just-“ he looked down, collecting his thoughts for a moment. “I’m happy but sad, I guess.” He finally decided. 

“Me too.” Alex assured him. He hugged Nicky close to his side. “We gotta hell the boys sometime.”

“Not today?” Nicky asked, his head heavy against Alex’s shoulder. 

“Not today.”

Not today, and not the next day, nor the one after that. They talked to the team management and discussed their plan. The team wanted to keep them there in some capacity, even if they couldn’t keep playing. 

“I don’t want to travel all the time.” Nicky said point-blank. “But...I’d like being here still, with the team.” 

They offered them both the option to come back as assistant coaches. “Obviously, we’d love for you to travel with the team, but it’s not a dealbreaker.”

They decided they had to tell their family before the team; maybe they were just putting it off. Alex’s parents congratulated them, Nicky’s parents were happy, and Hanna frowned. “Aren’t you gonna miss playing?”

“We’d rather play with you and Felix now.” Nicky explained. 

Hanna brightened a bit. “We’re your team now, right?”

Alex chuckled and kissed her cheek, his beard tickling her. “You’re always our team.” He assured her. 

“Can I still see Maymay? And Uncle Tom? And Zhenya? And-“

“Still see everyone.” Alex promised. 

“Good.” Hanna nodded, pigtails bouncing. “You can come on lots of field trips next year! In first grade they go apple picking. An’ they get to keep the apples!” 

Nicky eyes were laughing as he tried to keep a straight face. “They keep the apples?” He asked incredulously. 

“Uh huh. And they eat them!” Hanna nodded. “But we could make them into apple cake, ‘cause that’s even better.”

“That does sound good.” Nicky agreed. 

They spent the evening celebrating quietly at home with their family. Hanna and her cousins played downstairs while the adults stayed upstairs, talking and taking turns holding Felix. For his part, Felix was loving the attention, cooing and smiling at whoever held him. 

At least, he was happy until started to get hungry. He whined, scrunching his face and flailing his arms. Sofia gave him an amused look at handed him back to Alex. “He is so sweet.” She smiled. 

Nicky brought his bottle and Felix took it gratefully, eyes fluttering closed. Nicky leaned against Alex’s side, looking down at Felix as he ate. Nicky was radiating contentment and Alex was basking in it.

They’d gone through a lot that season, with old and new injuries and the hardships of Felix’s time in NICU. It had tested their relationship in a way Alex had naively thought it wouldn’t. Alex didn’t want to take Nicky for granted like that ever again, assuming that nothing could come between them. 

The next day, they had the parade. Nicky kept Felix in a carrier on his chest, wearing his ear protectors. The baby slept most of the afternoon. Hanna and Alex alternated between walking in the parade and riding the bus with the team. 

Afterwards, sunburnt and exhausted, Hanna and Felix left with their grandparents. 

Finally, finally, it was time to tell the team. They’d put it off long enough. After the parade they all went out for dinner, taking over the back room of a local restaurant. 

Alex was nervous, unexpectedly. He felt the emotion welling in his chest, a lump in his throat. He’d spent his so much of his life with this team, in this city. He’d spent so much time with Nicky to his side, feeding him passes. 

He still got to keep Nicky, he reminded himself. He had Nicky, they had two amazing children. They had the opportunity to continue to work with the team. 

Still, it was bittersweet to leave. He maybe he wanted to stay, maybe they could-

“Ready?” Nicky asked quietly. 

Alex nodded. “Yeah.”

“Are you sure?” Nicky looked at him. Alex thought about the off-season. He thought about missing Hanna’s birthday, about leaving when Felix was in the hospital. He thought about the pain in his knee, and how it was starting to feel better, finally. He thought about Nicky and how exhausted he’d looked. “I’m gonna miss it.” Nicky admitted softly. 

“Me too.” Alex squeezed his hand. 

“But...I want to do something new too.” Nicky continued.

“Me too.” 

“You and me, yeah?” Nicky said, eyes gleaming. 

“You and me.” Alex promised. “Always.” 

Even over the conversation around the table, everyone stilled when Nicky stood up. Nicky didn’t have to say anything to gain their attention; just like in the locker room, they all looked to him instinctively. Alex wondered, briefly, if Nicky had a plan this time. Nicky rested his hand on Alex’s shoulder. 

Nicky cleared his throat. He looked nervous, almost. Andre smiled at him reassuringly. “Sasha and me have...have something to say.” He paused. “How drunk are you guys?” 

There was a round of laughter and affirmations, drinks lifted into the air. 

Nicky relaxed a bit. “It’s been so great to play here with you. You’ve been...I couldn’t ask for better friends. We couldn’t ask for a better team.” Alex legitimately might start crying. “And...I don’t know how to say this but...Sasha and me, we’re going to retire.” A hush fell over the team as they digested what they’d just heard; Alex hadn’t expected it to be surprising, but the boys looked momentarily stunned. 

He stood up beside Nicky, an arm around his waist. “We love you guys, but we’re old now.” He joked. “We’re gonna stay here, gonna help out but...thank you for this. Thank you for winning the Cup this year.” 

Nicky nodded. 

Tom was the first to move, wrapping both of them in a hug. “Fuck, guys…” Tom said emphatically. “Fuck, I’m gonna miss you so much.” 

“Not moving.” Alex promised. “Gonna stay and coach.” 

“So, I’ll keep yelling at you.” Nicky teased with watery eyes. 

The rest of the team filed through, hugging them in turn and congratulating them. Andre was last. 

He hugged Alex first and then Nicky, and Nicky didn’t let go for a long moment. Alex turned away, grabbing his glass of water and taking a sip. When he looked back, Nicky had his eyes shut tight, lashes wet. 

“Thank you.” Andre said, voice cracking. “I really- you’ve done so much for me and- and you didn’t have to and...just thank you.” 

“It’s not-“

“It was.” Andre interrupted. “I don’t know if I’d still be here, without you.” 

Nicky ducked his head to hug him again; Andre had always been taller, but Alex always forgot. Nicky sniffled, laughing. “Sorry.” He said, wiping his face dry. “Sorry. I...I’m proud of you. You’ve done so good. I’m...I’ll miss playing with you.”

Andre hugged him even tighter. “Stop talking, you’re gonna make me cry and then Ovi will take pictures.” 

Nicky laughed harder, cheeks wet with tears. He glanced at Alex. “He wouldn’t.” He said, smiling. 

Alex held his hands up to indicate his innocence. “I never do anything like that.” He insisted, grinning at them. 

Evgeny came up to hug Alex again, laughing at the sight of Andre and Nicky. “You guys ok?” He asked. 

“Shut up.” Andre said, even as he smiled. 

“He’s having a moment.” Alex teased. “Gonna miss his papa.” Nicky still had an arm around Andre; the feeling was obviously mutual. 

“Nicky’s gonna come back, coach us.” Evgeny said, smiling as he shook his head. “Gonna be terrible. Gonna get yelled at every day.”

“Only if you deserve it.” Nicky teased. “Maybe work on your face offs.”

“See, we win them a cup, still not happy.” He laughed. 

Nicky rolled his eyes. “I need more to drink to deal with you.” He said, sounding found. 

At the end of the night, Alex went to retrieve his husband from where he, John, and Andre were having a quiet but animated conversation in the corner. He slipped an arm around his waist and Nicky grinned at him broadly; drunkenly. 

“You ready to go home?”

“Yeah. No.” He shook his head. “I want to- I want to see the kids.” 

“We go to my parents house, give them kisses.” Alex said agreeably. 

Nicky dozed in the cab and Alex shook him awake when they reached their destination. They crept inside and into Hanna’s room. Nicky adjusted her blankets and tenderly kissed her forehead before Alex did the same. 

Felix woke up when they tried it with him, smiling up at them from his crib. “Hi there, alskling.” Nicky cooed, picking him up. “We missed you.”

Alex kissed Felix’s cheek and then Nicky’s, with an exaggerated kissy noise that made Felix laugh sleepily. “Love you, Felya.” Alex whispered. 

“We’re so lucky to have you.” Nicky told him.

Alex kissed Nicky again, this time on the mouth. “So lucky.” He repeated.

**Author's Note:**

> CW: mentioned infant death and depiction of infant in NICU


End file.
